Delilah (not her actual name)

Nice @avant-garde 🙂

Glad to hear.

Sometimes I think my high attention to detail works against me... She said her boys were simple in that they never wanted any grand gesture, all they wanted was a box of roses chocolates...

I think of her and I get angry that she used these boys as means to get what she wanted instead of just asking...

I was talking to my new therapist today... she's asked questions about Delilah... she couldn't help but get angry at my church...

She made some valid points and I want to get your take on it...

We talked about the churches actions of not stopping her coming to church, but more than that, that they're enabling her to keep on sinning, partly by discouraging me from going to the police.

We have proof of fraud, that is a police matter, it is not something the church is able to handle.

But that any other sin, like sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, etc, they are disciplined and asked to accept the discipline or be excommunicated.

Their actions tell me that this sin isn't as big a deal as other more obvious sins.

If a hand causes you to sin you should cut it off...

Are sins of the mouth or the mind any more serious than sins of the flesh?

It tells me that what she did is an ok sin, that it's ok to lie, steal, manipulate, because they're aware that it's happening and they have hope that she'll repent.

But what will the repercussions be if I were to go to the police...

@tyme @Macey @ENKELI

@avant-garde thanks for telling your story. I had a Delilah in my life for 10 years. Completely different circumstances but I am the one left suffering while she gets away scot free.

I referred this person to a debt collector for $1600, she owed me more than $15 000. I never got the money she owed because she manipulated and lied to enough people. The narcissist in her turned friends against me, my church sided with her and the Christian school that her kids went to (I paid for them) and where I volunteered on the P&F committee succeeded and removing me. I am left with no church, no friends and a lot of money that I need now while I am unable to find work - due in part to her behaviour towards me. I found a card from her a few days back, thanking me for leading her back to Jesus and that I had helped her find her faith again.

Am I mad at God that He placed me in that situation? No. Am I broken down, shattered into a million pieces because she gets to live a good life while I struggle to trust again? Absolutely.

No sin is greater or lesser in God's eyes. If I lie, that sin hurts God as much as the man who ends another person's life.

The church is in an awkward position, they can't take sides even though it may feel like they are. I chose not to go back to my church for fear of what had been said about me behind my back. I am hoping to attend a new church in the new year that I have been invited to.

Go to the police. It is not an act of vengeance, it is not our place to judge, but she has committed a crime and that IS punishable by law AND God.

It has been 20 months since this person destroyed me. I should be over it by now. But I'm not. As I have said before, I have faith like a mustard seed and the robe I'm clinging to belongs to Jesus.

He is saying to you, "I Will Be Here For You".

You're in my prayers and whatever you choose to do, let it be your decision and not that of the church or anyone else sweetheart.

@ENKELI

I talked to a friend at church today and she asked me if I have evidence...

I have all the text messages, the phone records, but will it be enough? I don't know...

My friend said not to expect the church to come to bat for me, that they don't want to ruin her reputation... is her reputation more important than her sin? more important than all the ones she's hurt?

@avant-garde the church will not support you in this particular issue because they need to be seen as unbiased and neutral. In my soul I don't believe it's because they don't want to sully her "good name". They probably know but if she is kicked out of the church will she get worse and cause more drama to more people? This way the church can keep an eye on her as well.

I would personally make a phone call or visit my local station and talk to the police and see whether they agree with you.

It has to be your decision honey but I for one will be here supporting you and praying for you regardless of what you choose to do.

Only when you feel calm and at peace again will you know you've done everything you were supposed to. It's taken me 20 months to move past the 10 years I had with Narcissist but I feel more at peace each day now.

❤️

@ENKELI

The church know, the church have been stupid in trying to get her to admit it and feel sorry, the church have strung me along for months to try and get my money back, the church are naive and blind in dealing with this, trying to find their way through this whilst I feel this dreadful anguish.

The above mentioned friend and I believe she's already started at another church, she keeps making excuses as to why she can't make it this week.

I can't let her get away with me because then I feel partly to blame for all the ones that come after me.

My conscience won't allow that.

She's my dad all over again.

I I received a message... that she intends to come to church in the morning... at least they told me...

I'm not scared of her... I'm more scared of the seizures that have resulted the last 3 times I've seen her...

The last time I had a seizure I ended up in hospital with a suspected concussion... I'm scared no one will notice... that no one will care...

That's my greatest fear...

@ENKELI @tyme @Macey

Awww hun. I'm so sorry you feel this way @avant-garde . I'm no medical expert so I don't know anything about what can trigger seizures. Is it something you can work through?

For me, I have the option of connecting to the service online if I can't go in person. Is this an option for you?

I'm here if you need anything.

@tyme

I'm on the neurology waitlist but it took doctors 10 years to take my seizures seriously, 5 of those with my current GP, even then it took multiple emergency visits and a 3 hour seizure late 2023 for my GP to refer me to neurology for my seizures.

We'll see if today's theory worked within the next 24 hours, but it's promising so far