Neurodivergence (ASD), (self-)acceptance and growth in life- medication?

Hi people of sane forums,

I am writing this entry because I'm looking to connect with people online who can relate to my story. I am a 26-yo neurodivergent (ASD, newly diagnosed) person from the netherlands who feels behind/struggling in life. For about five years now, I've struggled with depressive and burned out episodes on and off, often seasonally (winters).

I find myself in a point in my life finishing my master's programme and trying to find a place in professional life; however, I am noticing that my mental health problems and recently diagnosed neurodivergence have me struggling with self-acceptance, acceptance of my place in life and forming a realistic and positive view of the possibilities that I do (and do not) have.

I put this entry under 'Employment, education and training' because I am starting to wonder if I really am capable enough to join the workforce and professionally engage with the world around me, which I have tried this year and started to burn me out significantly. I feel like something needs to change and that perhaps I have to start considering living my life on meds or use meds to work or something because I don't really see myself being able to focus well enough to achieve what I want in life. Simultaneously, I feel like I want to find a way to life without medication (never was on meds) and to form a healthier pattern that does not burn me out or depress me the way I've been for years now.

I experience a lot of anger and frustration in this regard, struggling to accept my predicament, which is limiting my ability to grow sustainably and patiently. I feel like I need to either completely change direction and also learn to accept the cards i got dealt in this life- and I am struggling to see how.

With this post, I am hoping to connect to people who have been through similar things, to empathize with and learn from.

Best to all of you<3