Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Caring for boyfriend who has psychosis

starexplorerNew Contributor01 Dec 2024, 10:22 pm AEDT

Caring for boyfriend who has psychosis

Hi all, I'm new and have read through to see if anyone has experienced similar and can see snippets of similar experiences but not yet any that match.

Issue:

My boyfriend recently had a psychotic episode and is now in hospital. Do I continue to support him and help him out? I really want to see him win and improve because he deserves to be healthy and happy. He is usually an absolute sweetheart to me but this last episode was very emotionally draining and I struggle to remain positive when he accuses me of being against him. In my mind, I know these are symptoms of his mental illness and though powered by big emotions, may not be representative of how he feels but in my heart - it's tough to hear that from someone you love.

Background:

My boyfriend recently had a psychotic episode where he believes that people are after him, that everywhere is bugged and microscopic cameras are watching him. He didn't want to go outside. He also believes people have stolen from him and most recently accused me of doing so and that I was a spy. That hurt. It happened in a matter of two days and escalated to the point where I left and he was admitted to hospital. He is now in hospital and needs support but keeps questioning me and saying I need to show action so he can trust me again. I want to help him get the support he needs but I can't help but believe we are here because he didn't stick to his medication. I helped him create a calendar and an alarm for consistent times to take his medication and he assured me he was taking them but then he started staying up late and began to spiral.

Will I ever find vindication from these delusions? It's heartbreaking that he sees me like this especially when he has been doing so well this year. He has no one to help him since he doesn't have any friends or family to rely on (breakdown in relationships) and I also feel like it's hard to advocate for yourself when you are an inpatient and the stigma of your mental illness. He has previously shared concerns like that with me so I want to help him find his voice.

My take:

My support network is concerned with me and posed a question that if he did care about me, he would have been consistent with his medication to avoid being in this situation.

I get that concern and I'm not sure if he's insightful to his condition because it seems to be deterred by his adamant claims of being targeted and betrayed. Is there any advice from someone who has experienced recovery from this or someone who has a positive experience? I do want to continue to help him but I do acknowledge that at some point, I have to take into consideration my own mental health and my own responsiblities and what cost I'm willing to make to help him. It just feels so unfair sometimes, you know.

Sending positive encouragement to all and thank you for taking the time to read.

1 reply

1 - 1 of 1

In response to: Caring for boyfriend who has psychosis

MJG017Senior Contributor01 Dec 2024, 11:09 pm AEDT

Re: Caring for boyfriend who has psychosis

Hi @starexplorer, welcome to the forum.

I don't have any experience with psychosis so I can only try to imagine how difficult it must be for you to support your boyfriend. It sounds extremely difficult but I can see you've demonstrated a lot of compassion and strength by supporting him as much as you have. Like I said, I don't have any experience with this, but I thought I'd share some thoughts so feel free to let me know if it doesn't help.. or just ignore them.

Firstly, clearly you know the accusations come from his illness, but it's also importation to remember that the pain they cause is real. You do need to take your own mental well being into consideration as well, so it may be about setting some boundaries in order to look after yourself as well. That maybe deciding some limits on the conversations or situations which you find to difficult to deal with. It could be to let him you you can support him, but that he does need to work with his professional team and follow any treatment plan given to him. It's not fair for you to be his only support. Not only is it not fair for you, but it doesn't help him either so it's just not realistic for you to fully support him if he's not willing to stick to these treatments. If he keeps resisting, then remind him that it's not about assigning fault, but rather helping him to use what is available for him to regain his stability. In he same way, when he starts to accuse you of anything, rather than trying to convince him of anything, just redirect the conversation. For example, by telling him that you care about him and are just trying to help him in his recovery and you would just like the both of you to focus, together, on achieving that.

It's great that you have people to support you and talk to them about what you're are going through and getting their thoughts and advice. Ultimately though any decision is yours, but you do need to balance that desire to help him with your own mental health. The harder you are finding it, the harder it is for you to support him anyway. If you feel like it is starting to get on top of you too much, then there is nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself. Supporting someone you love, doesn't mean you have to endure too much for too long... it will only hurt the relationship in the long term any way. And a big part of the long term survival for the relationship would be his willingness to stick with his treatments and profession supports. If he keeps on resisting the professional support then it sounds like it just may not be sustainable to keep going how things are. I know you are already aware of this, but it is important to remember that there are limits to what you can do for him, and that he does need to meet you part of the way. None of this is fair for anyone involved and you've done so much for him, but as I said, there are limits and you do have a responsibility for your own well being as well.

It's not like you need to decide anything right now. You can just keep doing what you're doing but also keep thinking about what your needs are and what is fair to you in the longer term. I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck getting through an incredibly tough situation.

1 - 1 of 1