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Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

It doesnt matter to me what I call it, I know I need help with my life that goes beyond drugs, but drugs have led me to lows I never thought that I would reach. When I think of a "disease" I think of a medical condition. A disease, to me, has always been something that a doctor could take a blood test or a biopsy for and those tests say definitively that you have a disease or not. This is what I struggle with when I hear disease of addiction. I have the same problem when I am told that I am bipolar or schizoaffeffective, because I have been in denial for long periods of time because doctors could only diagnose me from observing my symptoms, but there is no blood test and there is no x-ray, so I would always believe my illness is a judgement call, and I would judge my own condition and say that there's nothing wrong with me despite the fact that I am manic, delusional, and psychotic. However when I come down from this state, my previous erratic and wreckless behavior becomes clear and I can now say that I am bipolar type 1 or schizoaffective without hesitation.


It is easier for me to say that I am an addict than it is for me to say that I suffer from the disease of addiction. I have denied myself from accepting addiction as a disease. I have had in the back of my head the belief that calling my addiction a disease excuses me if I were to start going back to using drugs. I also believe that calling my addiction a disease gives my condition more weight than I believe that it deserves. However I never thought that considering my condition a disease may be what I need to do to give my addiction the attention that it deserves.

27 replies

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In response to: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

@Heart : Yes I'm still a Tabacco addict, but that's okay for right now as long as I stay away from alcohol and weed which pretty much gauruntees that I become manic.

In response to: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Hi wig gummy. You must be up at the same time as me. I had a drug addiction to nicorettes - more than thirty chewies a day - past the toxic dose until I nearly died from it - my liver became dangerously toxic. Was a smoker before then. I do believe that addiction has something to do with the manic side of schizoeffective or bipolar. Now I look back I was actually manic about having them because they fed my mania. Good luck with coming off drugs - it's a tall order but you can do it!

In response to: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Thank you @Zest : I'm actually coming from the east coast united states, so it's just past noon here. I have to get a liver biopsy done cause my liver enzymes have been high for quite awhile. My gastroenterologist wants me to quit Tabacco but I've been resistant.

In response to: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Also @Zest it seems like the better I feel the stronger my addictions are for pleasurable activities like smoking, drinking, and music. I just want to get higher and higher. When I'm depressed my addiction is comfort like my bed and tv.

In response to: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Tough road isn't it. I believe addiction is a disease because like any other disease it makes you unwell and can be fatal - it's very debilitating.

In response to: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

@Zest: I'm grateful my drug of choice isn't one that I could die from overuse (marijuana), however when I'm manic and drink and smoke marijuana I could black out and I risk getting beat up or even getting shot at by police. Luckily I've never had a desire to own a gun.

In response to: Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

@wiggumy2, Coming to us from a long way. Good luck with you liver biopsy, keep us posted how it goes.

Take care of yourself.

In response to: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

@wiggumy2. I understand that 'comfort' that your addiction can bring. Oblivion. Being unable to feel / think of any negatives.
Those feelings themselves can be an addiction.

In response to: Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

That's exactly it. Not been able to let your mind wander to all those negative thoughts. I'm in my sixth week of not smoking or chewing nicotine. Symptoms have gone a heap however I can still feel the addiction and my addictive nature.

In response to: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

Re: Duel Diagnosis: Bipolar type 1 (and/or Schizoaffective) + Addiction

@Heart : I'll keep you posted.

@utopia : Yeah, I've finally come to realization that life happens. Everytime I feel negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, or stress I can't just pick up and use. It'll be the psych ward where I end up...and that's if I'm lucky, ha.

@Zest : Way to go with your six weeks! That's a huge deal and I'm happy for you and your health. Keep it up!
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