Medically Exhausted

I’m so sorry that has happened to you, there is nothing worse then being misgendered or having to be called by your birth name. Some people need to realise that there actions affect other people in different ways. If you ever want an ear I’m here 😊 take care x

@Royal93 just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, then it will show up in blue, like this: @Trickster

@Trickster I'm soooo sorry that happened to you. Getting deadnamed is the worst, it's like a gut punch every time hey. I am about to head off for the night, but I'll be back around Monday - feel free to tag me if you wanna chat about it. And we're (hopefully SOON) launching our LGBTQI+ hub so we have a dedicated space to talk about this kinda stuff!! I'll try to keep you in the loop 💜

@Trickster

I’m sorry for your experience. Medical issues can be really hard, especially when there isn’t a clear answer – the system is setup to generally work well if your issue follows a predicted flowchart, when it deviates, you can find roadblocks and dead-ends. And it can be really exhausting to always have to fight and advocate for yourself. I know that the advice is often ‘make sure you ask lots of questions’, ‘do your own research’, ‘understand all your options’ but in the moment, this is really hard to do. I have had similar experiences of being passed pillar to post and feeling like your issue isn’t important – that happened just last week.

I’m sorry about the misgendering and misnaming – and I acknowledge I can’t fully understand the impact on you re this. It sounds like you had a lot of people involved and that information, which was very important for you, was not shared when your care was passed on. There are medical reasons for the staff to know a person’s biological reproductive system, however they should still recognise your gender and name as something separate to that.

My only real suggestion is can you, or your partner, feedback to the hospital to highlight the issue, eg. ‘while I received care these were the issues. Is there a way the hospital can help their staff be more aware in regard to gender and name use to reduce stress and discomfort for future patients?’. Unfortunately, these things don’t change unless people are alerted to them. Though I realise this is probably not something you feel up to doing.

I hope you feel better soon.

Hello @Trickster

I am sorry to hear this has happened to you, many years ago I was in a similar situation at a doctor's surgery a particular religious background was mentioned and written on my medical records without my consent, I replied and said "No I am not" I told the doctor that they should not presume anything, it could lead to miscommunication and conflict, the reply was "Oh sorry but I thought you were............ it made me frustrated and disappointed. You could always express your concerns, and inform them so they can be more careful next time, take care.

@Royal93 @Jynx @QueeniePaws @Hope2Recovery Thank you all, I'm sorry it took me a bit to reply I'm still on the mend and brain fog is heavy atm. I really appreciate the kind words, when I'm better I'm going to be checking in with these places about the policies and procedures, I live rural and I can start to see why a lot of other trans people have been so specific about there GPs now unfortunately choice is limited out here. It's just like a small bit of harm everytime and it's the opposite of care, with a huge amount drs at once it becomes clear how much it hurts.

@Trickster Each time may only be a small harm, but they do accumulate into very big distress. I am guessing it is harder if you're rural but - have you been able to spend any time with community since then? I find that after getting hit with big dysphoria from a situation like that, spending time with other trans folks does wonders to help bring me back to baseline.

Hi @Trickster

Wishing you a speedy recovery, hope everything will work out fine for you, take care.

@Hope2Recovery @Jynx thanks for the wishes, I've just had surgery and it went ok lot better for the gender side of things, less misgendering and had people ask my pronouns which was great.

I'm on the mend recovering from the other things well if all goes well I will be able to go out to a Christmas bbq for LGBTQIA+ community it will depend on the surgery recovery. Thank you all for being here especially when its been hard.

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@Trickster wrote:

@Hope2Recovery @Jynx thanks for the wishes, I've just had surgery and it went ok lot better for the gender side of things, less misgendering and had people ask my pronouns which was great.

I'm on the mend recovering from the other things well if all goes well I will be able to go out to a Christmas bbq for LGBTQIA+ community it will depend on the surgery recovery. Thank you all for being here especially when its been hard.

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Aww that's so great to hear!! I hope you get to go to the BBQ that sounds fab!!

If you want to catch up for chats to help alleviate the boredom whilst in recovery just let us know hehe 😁💜