I hope this helps someone like it helped me: our internal belief systems are BS

During a session with my therapist, he remarked, "It sounds like you care a lot about people's perceptions of you", to which I responded, "Well... yes... I suppose I do". After asking me several yes/no questions about common negative belief systems (for example, "I don't feel worthy of respect", to which I responded "Yes, that's true"), he paused and said "you know the thing about negative belief systems? They're all BS! they're not rooted in truth".

I responded with a few examples from my childhood: When I was a child, my mother often withheld love and care from me as a form of punishment, which taught me that "love and respect is something to be earned; it's not freely given." I would also internalise it when my parents were angry/upset and blame myself every time, because they often took out their own frustrations, on me. My parents often blamed me (as a child) when bad things happened, or at least, this was communicated to me, which reinforced this internal belief system that "Everything is my fault". In a more recent time when I confronted my mum about all my pain, she once again flipped the blame back on me, reinforcing that belief.

After giving these examples, I said "but what about that?", and then he said "the thing about these belief systems, is that they are deeply planted early on in our lives... think of your negative belief systems as soil...experiences in your childhood are this soil, and we feed these internal belief systems when we hear or perceive anything that validates these beliefs as true, and what grows from that.. is what we think about ourself, and that affects our emotions and how we behave.. but the thing is, none of it is true. For example, you weren't unworthy of love and respect, love and respect is a human right and you are just as worthy of that as any person on the earth".

Since that session, I have started to become more conscious about my inner dialogue (my inner thoughts)... When I find myself sinking into a pit of "I am not worthy of love", I pause and remember, "I am worthy of love and respect... I am just as worthy as anybody else".

Anyway,
I just wanted to share this. Its a simple concept but I found it very therapeutic.