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Dreams

Lily25Casual Contributor26 Nov 2024, 9:31 am AEDT

Dreams

Well hello it's been a ride so close to the end of the year and the stresses behind family events I feel I'm missing out on.

The guilt and shame I feel not being able to provide a "normal" home life for my young ones.

Today I had a dream of my ex moving on with a mutal friend (one he tried to cheat with yrs back)

Not gonna lie my body is still shaken... wants to cry..

It was painful to relive in a way..

Knowing that I still have love for this person and its crazy considering how much pain this person has created in my life.

I have my telehealth appointment later today, I am holding out for it tbh.

I realised today I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days now... I think I've hit a wall.. and only because the ex was picking up are son this morning and I felt I didn't want him to see me on the same clothes as Sunday.. but I didn't change.. I don't care tbh..

(I will be showering and changing clothes)

I'm just rambling... but I can say that I'm feeling it the last few days.. I'm tried, scared and can feel my heart hurting... I miss my mother my family... a close connection where I felt safe and vulnerable to cry because I'm hurting.

2 replies

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In response to: Dreams

SnowieSenior Contributor26 Nov 2024, 11:31 am AEDT

Re: Dreams

Hearing you @Lily25

You are doing the very best you can, that is what matters.

A shower can wait, changing clothes can wait, you MH is more important.

I hope you appt. goes well

Know that we are here for you.

In response to: Dreams

MJG017Senior Contributor26 Nov 2024, 1:01 pm AEDT

Re: Dreams

Hi @Lily25 I'm sorry your are struggling so much at the moment. I agree completely with that @Snowie said, everything can wait, its you mental health that is the priority. It's very normal for people, when depressed, to stop some of that person care stuff so don't feel bad about that, it's just the minds ways of saying it has other things to worry about at them moment.

I know it all must be very painful for you, but try to remember than none of this is your doing. Your partner is the one who made it so that a 'normal' home life for your kids wasn't possible anymore. And you've done so well, and been so strong to make some decisions and set some boundaries for the benefit of yourself and your kids. Not to mention in the process, teaching them that it's not okay to accept and bad behaviour, especially abusive.

As always, we're her to listen and support you. there's no such thing as 'rambling' when dealing with our mental health.

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