Hi @Messylife
I'm sorry about what you are dealing with right now, it sounds incredible difficult and isolating. I can only imagine how painful it must be right now to make those little moments of joy while being in so much pain. Obviously, you are just trying to make a better life you yourself and your kids. Even if they don't see it now, hopefully the will see it in time. I hope they also come to see the incredible strength it took for you to do what was best for everyone.
Obviously co-parenting is not always easy by any means, but so much more so when your kids don't fully understand why everything has changed. We all remember what it was like to be a teen and processing big changes was never a strength. While their reactions will feel like rejection now, it doesn't mean they will always feel like this. They're are no doubt hurting to and trying to make sense of everything and maybe their way to to just find someone to blame. Which unfortunately has landed on you. It's okay to acknowledge that, but don't put all that blame on yourself. You had your own valid reasons for leaving, for your well-being and theirs, it's probably just hard for them to see that right now. But as I said, hopefully they will in time.
Continue to reach out for support like you have here, because you just need some understanding right now, not judgement and isolation. And don't feel like that witch on a pyre... just a person who made a brave choice in a very difficult situation. Your reasons are your won, and are valid. Even of others don't understand that tight now, doesn't diminish their validity in any way.
It is so unfair that your aren't getting the understanding you deserve. Even when it feels like no one is on your side, keep in mind that there are people who would respect and be inspired by your courage. I know it must be so hard right now, but I hope you can find some small joys, even if they don't feel possible right now. You're doing the best you can to navigate an extremely difficult situation and that is enough right now. I completely understand that that must be so difficult to see right now, but you aren't lost... just trying to navigate through a very, very difficult and challenging time.
I have dealt with Relationships Australia here in SA myself and have found them very helpful with my own issues. I know they do have services to help with all sorts of family relationship issues. Maybe you could contact them to get some help, and maybe even get other member of your family to do them same and some mutual understanding and healing can begin.
But continue to look after your own well being, give yourself as much time as you need and don't try to explain or justify yourself. If people want to judge you, just tell them you made a deeply personal and difficult decision and that you hope, in time, they will understand.
We're here for you so try not to feel completely alone. I wish you all the best in getting through such an immensely difficult time.
