I don't know

Hey @Cats101 ,

Firstly, good to see you.

At the same time, I'm sorry the tension was high and you didn't end up enjoying your trip. How many of you were there?

Do they live with you in that you said the tension is still here?

Hi @Cats101

Was the constant tension you mentioned just between you and everyone else, or between everyone? I don't think you did the wrong thing. If your other friends want to accept this rude behaviour from that one person, then that is up to them. Maybe they didn't mind it because it sounds like none of it was directed at them after you spoke up. It's really hard, not to mention takes so much courage and strength to set boundaries with what you will accept from others and what you wont.

I tend to see things these days are that we can't control what people say and/or do, but we can control how we react to it. And you decided that behaviour was unacceptable and spoke up about it. All your friends could learn a lot from you.

I've had friends where we teased each other, but we had been friends for a long time and we knew each other well enough that we knew it wasn't a problem. If it was someone new or anyone said "Hey, i really don't appreciate that." we would have respected that and stopped doing it. It just seems like there isn't that respect here for you. If anyone did something wrong it was your friends, and not you. They're certainly not showing you any respect. If anyone should be sitting down wondering what they did wrong, it's them!

I know this probably doesn't help you much at the moment with all this tension. Maybe if you explain it to them they will understand, but maybe they're just not mature enough. Either way, you cant control how they react, keep that confidence in yourself and your strength to know your own boundaries.

I hope you can sort out this tension soon, it can't be a great environment to live in. I wish you all the best with it, but we're all here for you if you need that support dealing with it.

Hi @Cats101

It sounds like this person is a bit of a... 'less than desirable person to be around'. If you're other friends aren't brave enough to speak up, then that isn't on you. It seems like this person was the cause of all the tension, and you were just the one who spoke up. Try not to worry too much about it, you did nothing wrong and other people probably admire you for sticking up for yourself. Give them a bit of time, maybe they will eventually tell you they liked what you said. People like this often behave this way, because they think no one will call them out on it. When someone does, things can get a bit tense because it's something they're not used to. Either way, it's not your problem and certainly nothing you did wrong.

You said that when you got back home there was tension there as well. Is this from the Sydney trip or something different?

Hey @Cats101 ,

That sounds tough to see your dad and uncle not get along.

How are you managing in all this?

@Cats101It must be so frustrating for you! All this tension around you and none of it your doing or anything you can really change. It must such a tricky situation with your uncle there when he doesn't get on with your dad. Just continue to be neutral I guess, and let them sort it out (or not) themselves. It's not up to you to fix anything, just try and be kind to both of them. If it does get to much, just let them know you dont want to be in the middle of it and that you'd rather keep things calm while you're all there together. Is there anything both of them do like talking about together? Maybe you could try to steer any conversation in that direction if you wanted to try and reduce some of the tension.

If not, just leave them alone and come here and chat to us. Hopefully there's no tension here. It may give you a nice little break from it to get to know some people here.