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Traditions am I holding too tight

Unknown userMember19 Nov 2024, 5:22 pm AEDT

Traditions am I holding too tight

Thanksgiving

This is a tradition that I've held personally since 2012 due to honour someone special in my life. Whether alone or people I choose a table to enjoy make pumpkin pie and have a baileys. Yesterday was meant to be it but flopped which was good because it's special to me and I didn't want to ruin it so when mum walked in at 930 at night with pumpkin pie and I felt bad cos I knew she wouldn't get but this is an occasion for me so after a bad day was not it.

Anyway now I've rebooked with my cousin, my safe place and now mum has brought her husband who is having an break due to dv and my sister family who also doesn't receive me well on it and I just feel frustrated I can't have my one tradition. I don't know if I'm holding so tight because of how much I've had to give up this year but I just feel I have nothing of my own anymore and this is my thing.

Is that ridiculous like do I say I do Monday so others can't be there or do I let another thing go. I don't know.

3 replies

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In response to: Traditions am I holding too tight

tymeModerator21 Nov 2024, 5:48 pm AEDT

Re: Traditions am I holding too tight

Hey @Former-Member ,

Sorry, I only just read this message.

How are you feeling today? Maybe it's okay to hold onto this tradition, esp if it is meaningful for you?

In response to: Traditions am I holding too tight

tymeModerator01 Dec 2024, 5:02 pm AEDT

Re: Traditions am I holding too tight

@Former-Member ,

How are you? I haven’t seen you around in a while and wanted to check in to see how things are.

Hope you are okay.

Thinking about you.

In response to: Re: Traditions am I holding too tight

Unknown userMember02 Dec 2024, 9:40 pm AEDT

Re: Traditions am I holding too tight

Who will hear my voice

Who will hear my voice, who will hear my cry, I am running out of options to try and I'm exhausted in my attempts to make myself feel heard

I am unsure how to change this situation and how to allow my voice space and time to be seen, I feel defeated as no one but me seems to see the concern

I spend all night in my mind strategising on ways or avenues that could assist my ability to be heard, maybe I'm not articulating myself enough

I really thought I was intelligent and capable but most interactions leave me disappointed and the feelings of failure and inadequacy are rough

I want someone, anyone to understand but the reality is if my first cries for help

Were heard I wouldn't even be here in this disorderly position

Imagine being invalidated constantly, yet knowing your body is not coping and you are doing all you can to change this current awful condition

I am here, left with the conclusion to accept the reality that putting in great efforts has no success and that i may be the only one who hears my cry

I guess the voice I have to listen to and be kind to is the one within me, knowing that regardless of external defeat I can somehow find comfort in knowing I have myself atleast on my side

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