Discovering emotions

Ive learnt that when some one says their going to call you back- and they dont. I need to ring them to get my answer/response or assistance. Because they may have like 500 things to get done in their work place. Its still not ok they didnt make contact back. But a polite reminder is ok. " hello, you were ment to call me yesterday- but i thought id just ring seeing i didnt get to hear from you......"

Hey @Chris

Good for you working on this very difficult and painful stuff. Will it help to know that learning to switch off to your emotions (dissociation/numbing) is a life-saving thing in trauma? Trying to reconnect can feel totally overwhelming. You wil get there, be patient and keep going. You will get there, slowly. It's a very worthwhile journey. You might think of it as fostering a friendship with your inner self. Like any friendship it takes time and patience.

The volatile feelings can make it very difficult, you will get there if you persist. The stuff you mention about the group and the facilitators is very hard. I can say that the point of raising it in the group is that you generally learn more (and others learn too) but I would also say that what is most important is that you feel safe to speak out about your concerns, whether in the group or out. Trust your intuition (not your logic) here. I also hear your concern about one of the facilitators, and that she may not be in a space to hear you. To be honest i'm surprised she's back at work in such a demanding and potentially emotionally fraught environment so soon afterward.

Please take care of you.

Good change can happen... and hope endures.

Kindest regards,
Kristin

Hi @Chris

i was wondering if i could ask you a few questions regarding DBT?????

I have been recieving treatment and help etc for a few months now, and i am waiting to see a new psychiatrist, to discuss all things aspects etc of what i go through, but i have only done what i think is some very basic things, i was curious about what DBt is exactly.......

if you don't feel comfortable discussing it, i won't press you to, so don't feel obligated ok 🙂

Thank you

Hi Kato, I'm quiet happy to talk to you about dbt.So Dialectic Behaviour Therapy.This was developed by Marcia Linehan, who was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.She developed this program(very simplified. You can google her) Ok so ther are four learning components.Mindfulness,Emotion regulation,Interpersonal effectiveness, and Emotion Regulation, Distress tolerance

Emotion Regulation

is about learning our emotiond,learning how we feel them. Bodyly changes, our body languege what we did and said and what was the function of the emoption(to comunicae,to motivate, to self validate.

Interperonal effectiveness

.Learning to put in boundries, say no and improve our ability to get what we want.

Mindfullness this can be as simple as slowing your breathing. Count 1 thousand and 1 1 thousand and 2 1 thousadnd and 3 (in then same out) youtube has alot of mindfulness practice. Find what works for you.

Distress Tolerence

learning to tolerate our distress seems obvious doesnt it.and easier said than done. Things like distraction, self soothing, have shower, use some nice scented lotion.Put together a sensory box that have meaning for you. mine is as follows.

Sight I have a picture of my oldest grandaughter in my box.Looking at her when I feel I cant go on ,stops me from harming myself.

Smell

My favourite scents. Rose,Lavender, eucaliptus. I found them very powerful

Touch hand cream

Hearing

mp3 player with my favourite music

Don't panic I know it all sounds overwhelming, as you go through you will start to become more aware and things slowly fall into place. Its like anything it take time and practice. I am hear to tell you it works.It can be confronting at times, but if you stick with it in these times that is when you learn the most.

If you have a private hospital with a psychiatric ward, they may also offer outpatient programs. Attendance is one day a week, and you must have a individual psychologist.Again a public hospital, with a psychiatric ward may run an outpatient program. From what I understand they vary a bit in the length I am fortunate enough to go private and am now on my fourth round (I'm a slow learner!)There quiet a lot of info on line, you could google your area to see whats available, and also there can be a bit of a waiting list. It is also very beneficial if you have a therapist that's trained in DBT,it helps to reinforce and clarify what you learn.

Hope all that helps

chris

Thank you very much @Chris

ok i think my psychologist has me started on this style of learning, errrmm i believe i am doing mindfulness, breathing and focusing just on that, acknowledging, emotions as they arise but then going back to the breathing, altho i think she called it my dedicated worry time or something,

you have explained very well, so i thank you for taking the time to respond 🙂

i think my biggest struggle will be emotional regulation and i think that will be tricky for me, i seem to have blocked off having "feelings" so to speak.

I will do some you tubing tonight, i am all worked up so sleep will not come easily for me tonight, it might just put in good stead to bide my time

thank you again

Im glad I was of some help.Emotion Regulation is the hardest for me, and I think it is for alot of people. But if you stick with it at its hardest, that's when you make major breakthroughs.Easier said than done I know.Baby steps and don't be too hard on yourself through this journey.