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When do you give up?

When do you give up?

I'm 42 aparated from my wife 2 weeks ago. She suffers depression and admits it but refuses to seek help. She googles help but does nothing. She has basically lay in bed for 12-18months doing nothing while I worked and worried. She says she has no feelings for me anymore and that's it she's moving in. We still are living together as we have a 7 yr old boy with autism and she has just started a new job working five nights a week. I obviously need to be here to look after our boy. I lost my job less than a week after she called for the separation. She says the depression has nothing to do with her feelings. I can't see how we had a chance with her condition consuming her, I feel like I'm the easy one to blame and ditch rather than seeking help. I promised her I'd never quit on her and always support her as she has been mistreated by every past person in her life. I told her I want to be the one constant in her life that never gave up on her and always stood there taking the bad treatment because I love her. I can see other things where the relationship was suffering but I still believe she's made her choice to quit on us and not get help. I know when she worked for about 3 months she started to come back to me but then lost that job and went straight back to bed. I was hoping with this new job she would come back again but she didn't wait she just quit. I don't want to quit but we are in a small town and the work prospects for me would only be enough if we were together. I don't want to lose sour family and I'm willing to do whatever it takes if there's a chance. But I need a job and I need to be prepared to look after me also moving forward, I don't want to be strung along for 6 months just because it suits her job! I'm kind of stuck in a catch 22. If I move she might realise she wants me still but if I move she may not be able to keep her job and that would be seen as my fault and ruin any hope I have. Lost broke confused lonely sad

53 replies

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In response to: When do you give up?

Re: When do you give up?

@WTFIGO, Havn't heard from you for a while. Just checking in to see how you are going?

Take care of yourself.

In response to: When do you give up?

Re: When do you give up?

"When do you give up"..when you wont to

In response to: When do you give up?

Re: When do you give up?

You are carrying alot on your shoulders. I agree with others here that you may need to seek help for yourself. A good counsellor will listen, help you articulate clearly how you feel, and help you develop strategies in how to deal with this situation. They don't tell you what to do, though they may provide some avenues. You already sound worn out. How can you cope without help? You need to care for yourself. No, I'm not a counsellor but I've had to use them, and know how it can help
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