Managing and interpreting suisidal fantasies

Hey @hotmess ,

I'm hearing you.

It sounds like a lot to ask if you have to let go of things that have sentimental value.

At the same time, do you think a 'fresh start' will help?

I'm mindful that being in the same place can bring up a lot of feelings of loss too.

Thoughts?

fresh start does sound tempting.. im such a hoarder though...

Hey @hotmess

I appreciate the reflective and thoughtful aspect of your post. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and other people’s actions for 40 years….. so yep thought about it from many angles…. Yes I feel it’s important to be able to discuss it sometimes….air it… rather than struggle alone with the shame and fear and despair… I have found there are messages or understandings….in the style and content… of my suicidal ideation…. Eg bringing to my realisation my feelings about a particular life circumstance…. Good luck

@tyme I am glad Sane has decided to have a part of the forums to express about all this…. It’s better than repression.

regards apple

Thank you for your openness and honesty @Appleblossom .

True... the power of expression over repression is real.

How are you @hotmess @Appleblossom ?

How have things been for you?

the further i get away from my ex the less I'm having this issue... trying to get myself away for longer periods of time untangle be free .. it all helps thanks

I'm hearing you @hotmess

I wonder if it's not only about being physically away from them, but also mentally? I'm hearing that sometimes, we may not be physically with them, but if our mind is always focused on them, then it can be just as tiresome.

Have you been able to do anything pleasant for yourself?

yeah doing my best - im pretty disaplined about my "self care". eating well, exercising, even socializing.. the loverlyest thing the other day was a freind encouraging me to kick of my shoes and dance in the grass to a free band at a big portect/ralley.

my urge to self isolate needs to be addressed too so im going out more.. mostly to be out of the house.. i have come to terms with the fact that the house and "security" in general in my relationships might be an older wound im carrying from my childhood.. my need for something more permanent made me resistant to change, made me attached to this place and the fantasies of a future my partner offered and that made me vulnerable to being trapped here in a coercive controlling relationship which in the end was the thing that drove me to more frequent intrusive thoughts which again offered my partner a useful handle and method of attempting more control. ...

taking control back for myself with life skills is an act of resistance and self care, I'm embracing along with learning to be more comfortable in discomfort.. im looking at needing to be able to do a budget... what resources do we have around financial literacy?

Hi @hotmess it sounds like you've been implementing lots of really positive self-care practices during this really hard time. It's not an easy thing to do so good on you for being able to keep up with the things you were already doing, and reflect on additional ones you want to work on next!

For financial literacy I find Money Smart to be a good resource - they have lots of information including a budget tool and have a list of free financial counselling services too if that's something that would suit your situation.

Thank you for asking @tyme

I have been on a roller coaster this week.Too much to explain. But it helps hearing from you.

@hotmess you do sound like you have figured a lot out about self care. Sending caring thoughts.

I hope you find your path away from the controlling ex. Yes getting on top of financial realities is essential. Step at a time.

Dancing in the grass to a free band sounds wonderful.

Cheers Apple