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curious question

curious question

Hi Friends , just feeling a bit introspective as of lately, just wondering does anyone else here tend to find themselves accepting whats dealt them especially if your family support has dwindled so much do you just tend to accept it more or less that your on your own without family support and then kind of just keep going on and getting on with things without them because there doesnt seem another option at the time like you show a sense of not just regular independendance but a much stronger form of independence and self suffientness simply because you have to almost like it flicks a switch of a coping mechanism you have to just go ok ill cope on my own ,once youve particularily stopped feeling cared about by your own family you become so ignored than you almost embrace that isolation or lonlieness that befalls you ,just seeking hopefully others that know what I mean thanks forum friends Im glad your here and Im glad you care ,just a side note it was recently my birthday and instead of getting numerous family members talking or messaging that day , a majority just out right ignored me even then which I think shows me just how liitle they actual care either that or they must think so low of me that they cant even be bothered to acknoledge my existance ,anyway with the very small amount of company I did have around me I still managed to have a good birthday even if it was somewhat lonely at times ,thanks for always caring on these forums it means alot Lost Angel

2 replies

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In response to: curious question

Re: curious question

hey @LostAngel first of all - happy belated birthday 🎉

i'm sorry to hear that some of your family didn't really acknowledge you during your birthday, but i'm really glad you managed to have a good time with those who did.

families can be a lil tricky, and a lot of the time there's miscommunications that never get addressed and end up creating some distance - i'm wondering maybe this could've happened to you? sometimes my family misinterpret my independence as me not wanting them, and then i have to have a lil chat with them to clarify.

i don't think there's anything wrong with being self-sufficient, and being comfortable in being alone. there's nothing wrong with being able to look after yourself, but just remember that you can still reach out for others and it's okay to want people around you so you don't go through things alone. i feel like my circumstances has forced me to be able to cope on my own too so i know i can get through things on my own, but sometimes i do want support too. you've always got the forums here for you too 💙

In response to: curious question

Re: curious question

Hi @LostAngel

I don't know whether it's just because I was adopted or there are other issues at play, but i always felt like that. I never felt close or supported by my family and I just learnt to deal with everything on my own. I became good at it. So good that by the time I was... i'm not sure, probably in my teens, i realised I had no idea how to interact with other people and that it was a problem. So i did the only thing I knew how to do, try to work it out myself.

I guess when we're put in that situation, however it happens, we do learn to become very self reliant and it can be a very difficult take to let people in after a while. So while that self reliance, can be a great strength, it can also be a great weakness if we rely on it too much. I think this was always a big issue for myself.

I get the whole birthday thing. Mine usually go by only noticed by a very few. But I do try to include those few as i'd rather spend birthdays with a small number of people who want to be there with me, than a larger group who are just there for their own reasons, which has nothing to do with me.

Happy belated birthday from me as well and im glad you had a good day. That is what matters.

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