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The anticipated letter
14 weeks of hospital, I no longer have the energy to explain the inadequacies but I am even surprised how i survived. 7 weeks out and I still am unsupported fighting and advocating daily for what wasn't done in hospital. I have realised there is no point trying to explain as it's not anyone else problem and I am not alone in this dishevelled broken system. I wished for acknowledgment, apology or any resolve. Sadly none and just a reminder that the small people don't get heard.
I am here trying to figure out how I find my closure and move forward. Anyway first thing I did was my new outlet and write.
The letter arrived
The letter, one I have awaited for, spent time meticulously trying to prepare to give the best opportunity for myself to be heard
It arrived today and I think sadly I already knew its outcome would not be positive but actually seeing it, I go back to how I let them define my worth
It was the hardest battle I have ever fought and I have never felt so misunderstood or poorly treated
The demons are haunting, the injustice big but I know that I will deteriorate rapidly if I let myself stay where they left me seated
So I have to rise above the hurt, the suffering, potentially another person who has slipped through the cracks
And that's why I'm so disappointed cos I know this is not an isolated incident, the system has failed many and has not acknowledged their lacks
I am not sure how to release such a weighted experience, I know it will be a process and I need to allow it the space and time
I will try to remember they don't dictate my worth and they devalued my sense of self, I can choose to incline to myself and be kind