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Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Unknown userMember27 Jan 2017, 8:49 am AEDT

Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Hi @Determined
Started this new thread. Can I first start by letting you know that you are not alone. Many of us in this forum have felt anxious and lost. Can I ask what support you have in place for yourself? It has really helped me to talk things out with someone who understands.

A suggested medication change is one of those times when carer anxiety can become elevated especially when there is what I call 'pear shape potential'. Mr Darcy is going through such a change at the moment.

I found out that when I am concerned or anxious I can come across as being confrontational and was totally unaware of this and I was most grateful to the person that told me.

When dealing with the psychiatrist, I apologised in advance and said that I could come across that way inadvertently, that my concern was for my husband's well being. I explained why I was nervous about the change and asked what benefit could be expected. I made sure I knew what to look out for in behavior changes. At the end of the day I did not want my man to miss out on a med that could really help due to my own fears.

A few tips:
1) what is the expected benefit?
NOT why are you prescribing this
2) I am nervous about this change as ...
3) How will we be able to gauge if there is improvement
4) when will this be reviewed?
5) I am concerned as in the past .... happened

Take care,
Darcy

19 replies

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In response to: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Unknown userMember02 Feb 2017, 11:03 pm AEDT

Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

@Perserverer @Determined

Had an awkward situation today with locum pdoc, rather than asking me where I got the info for a particular query from, she straight out said I was wrong. I said that I tried to ensure I got my info from reliable sources only and she said to send links through case worker. I have done this but it does not sit well. I am amenable to correction if I have not understood things right but she did not give me the opportunity to justify my concerns. I am sure if I am wrong she will address my query at the next visit, if not I won't be saying a thing.

Additionally she suggested the GP should be monitoring something that is clearly a side effect of psych drugs, which I would think well and truly falls in the lap of the pdoc to manage. This is the second time she has done this.

I should get a formal response in the next week to the complaint I lodged about a lack of communication. This encounter has perhaps made me a little more determined that my desired outcome of an education session on communication for the pdocs should be pursued.

Darcy

In response to: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

DeterminedSenior Contributor06 Feb 2017, 5:25 pm AEDT

Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Hi @Former-Member
How are you today?
Trust you are feeling better after your last appointment and that you may get some answers or clarification soon that help you.

In response to: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Unknown userMember06 Feb 2017, 7:48 pm AEDT

Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Hi @Determined

I hope you are bearing up OK and that your darling will start to improve.

You can be assured that I am tackling the communication issues head on. After I simmered down I sent a message to Mr Darcy's case worker and said there were some issues that needed resolving. When confirming the appt for next Wednesday his case worker said the doc wanted to know what it was about so I let them know. Did it all very politely but preceding the bit about the offence taken, said I was going to be blunt.
Next week I will take the email, cross off each point as discussed, will listen to what she has to say and do minimal talking. It is a two way street and she needs to know I am listening to her. Irrespective of the outcome of the meeting I will thank her for her time.
Darcy

In response to: Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

DeterminedSenior Contributor06 Feb 2017, 11:50 pm AEDT

Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Hi @Former-Member

I am pleased to hear that you will have an opportunity to discuss your concerns and trust that you are able to get the answers you are seeking to the benefit of both you and Mr Darcy.

While Friday was a very bad day for us with some advice from the pdoc we managed to get through the weekend intact. We have also had a positive meeting with my darlings pdoc at her hospital admission this afternoon which has given me some peace about our situation.

I was able to again discuss some of my concerns the impact of current meds along with discussing some of the environmental contributing factors that we have addressed / are addressing . Doc agreed to make some minor medication adjustments and allow a further 2 weeks for these changes to take effect. (Mostly for my peace of mind I think, however if there was no merit in what I was saying Im sure he would have told me). If there is no significant improvement we will be proceeding with the ECT treatment.

Im not even sure that my main anxiety is even about the treatment anymore but more about the rapid turnaround regarding its viability, and by my perception the lack of looking at other solutions. It felt to me like - meds are not working, too hard lets just do this - it was all a bit sudden for me. At least now we have addressed some of these things and allowed some time for them to take effect.

While I have been quite negative about my previous experiences around communicating my concerns about my darlings treatment I think that this doc has been quite helpful and happy to talk to me even though I perceive that I frustrate him sometimes.

I feel a little bad that this afternoon my darling was kind of taken out of the decision making process by me talking to the dr (with her consent, and she was present), she would have happily started treatment tomorrow.
Had she expressed that she just wanted to start and not wait however then that would have been the decision.
I am just thankful that she has trusted me enough to be included in this decision. (Something that was only possible with the support of the doctor). So now we wait 😕

In response to: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Unknown userMember09 Feb 2017, 7:44 am AEDT

Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Hi @Determined
Rather than go and see her, the pdoc rang me to clear the air, but I still ended up feeling frustrated as the underlying questions I had were not answered. She did apologise but I still feel none the wiser.
Darcy

In response to: Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

DeterminedSenior Contributor10 Feb 2017, 12:11 am AEDT

Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Hi @Former-Member,
Sorry to hear you were unable to get the answers you were looking for, that must be hard.
I trust that things improve for you and Mr Darcy soon.

I have seen a gradual improvement in my darling over this week, she is even wanting to talk to the pdoc tomorrow about coming home early. (I'm not sure this is a good idea so have encouraged her to start with a weekend release for Saturday/ Sunday). I just hope it will not be too much for her too soon but just as anxious to have her home as she is to be here. I have no Idea what time the doc is coming but hoping that it will be in the afternoon after I arrive. I will be leaving bub behind this trip so that we can hopefully talk with the doc uninterrupted.

Keeping you in my thoughts

In response to: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Unknown userMember12 Feb 2017, 6:54 pm AEDT

Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Hi @Determined
Hope you got to see the pdoc.
A quick message to let you know you have been in thoughts and prayers. Know you will be busy with family over weekend, take care.
Darcy

In response to: Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

DeterminedSenior Contributor13 Feb 2017, 10:14 pm AEDT

Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Hi @Former-Member

Thank you for the note, your thoughts and prayers are much appreciated.
I trust things are going well for you and Mr Darcy

Unfortunately, we missed the pdoc on Friday afternoon. He came while my darling was in a class and before I got there so left without seeing her. (Have to say I am a little miffed that she was not called out of the class as she was really hoping to talk to him). I understand that he is very busy but could it be that hard to have someone ring ahead to ensure she was available?

My darling was really hoping for some weekend leave to come home given that she has been feeling so much better but was not allowed. She was most devastated (I felt bad for the nurse that delivered the news). I understand the docs reasoning and fully support his decision but it would have been nice if he had explained it to her himself.

The nurse was very good and phoned him (AH) to request day leave with my supervision (Saturday) which he approved. The day went very well, it gave her a huge boost to be out as a family. I was also most encouraged as this is the best day that we have had in some time.

We did get to see the pdoc together this afternoon and were able to get some clarity on timelines going forward which was helpful as until now it was all a little vague and indefinite. Just have to wait and see how the next week goes.

Thanks again
Determined

In response to: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Unknown userMember15 Feb 2017, 10:46 am AEDT

Re: Lack of carer communication - how to deal with it

Hi @Determined

Having established timelines that everyone is aware of is another example of good communication.

Lovely to hear you had a good family day out with your darling's day leave from hospital.

Whilst each of our circumstances are different it is comforting to know we can support each other through.

I know I have difficulty with one day at a time.

Take care
Darcy

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