Borderline personality disorder

Welcome to the forums! @Nandez

I'm totally hearing you.

I don't have any clinical advice, but I do have personal experiences to share.

I have a diagnosis of BPD. For many years, I lived in a similar state - lost, lonely, empty and feeling worthless. I'm thinking that this is part of the BPD diagnosis?

For me, psychosocial support, such as these forums, were one of the most helpful things in my recovery. I felt less alone because others were able to share similar experiences. Otherwise, I was feeling like I was the issue. I was the issue. I was the faulty one.

Now, I know for surety that BPD is completely treatable.

What supports do you have?

At the moment I only have appointments booked for a psychologist.

Been seeing a psychiatrist for years but I was only diagnosed with major depressive disorder which has made me lose a lot of faith in professionals because if I'd known earlier it could have saved me so much pain and heartache!

Research into BPD quite clearly shows that the root of BPD can't be 'fixed' with medication. I have heard that some psychiatrists don't believe in BPD. For me, I was misdiagnosed with bipolar because of how up and down I was. I ended up on bipolar meds for over 10 years, and I didn't even have bipolar.

I was diagnosed with BPD in hospital. The diagnosis itself was a way for me to get the treatment I needed.

I'd encourage you not to consider the time with the psych as a waste, but focus more on where to from here. @Nandez

I'm more than happy to walk with you along your journey.

It certainly can feel very isolating @Nandez . Yet it can be so validating to know that others have experienced something similar, and have moved on from that place.

It empowers us with hope even when things seem hopeless.

Hang in there my friend.

Hey there @Nandez , how have things been going for you?

Any plans for the weekend?

@tyme

Definitely been better!
still feel like I’m just going through the motions just existing not living.

I have my kids this weekend and can’t even find joy in my time with them.

which then leads to more guilt and hating myself even more.

Do you think a bit of depression comes into this too? @Nandez

For example, because of my BPD, I ended up developing depression, anxiety and insomnia.

I had medication for these other conditions just so that I'd cope with life enough to take in the therapy for BPD. Once the underlying BPD was managed, all the other conditions improved.

What do you think?

@tyme

Absolutely!
ive been treated for depression for years and I am on medication for it.

unfortunately for me it seems like everything I do and have done improves things for a while and then without notice things just come crashing down around me.

The only positive thing is that this will be the first time seeking help for bpd and not major depressive disorder.

while there is definitely depression and other things in play I do feel that bpd is the big issue and I’ve never addressed that because of misdiagnosis

That's so interesting @Nandez .

I'm not sure if I mentioned, but I was misdiagnosed to have bipolar and depression for many many years. When it was finally noticed that BPD was the main issue, then all the puzzle piece fell into place and it all made sense.

How I see it with BPD is that if you keep putting a bandaid on all the other issues and don't tackle the BPD, you'll forever be using bandaids and experiencing the ups and downs.

Have you heard of Project Air's Online BPD group?