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Exhausted and frustrated

Elusive_fairyContributor05 Nov 2024, 1:49 pm AEDT

Exhausted and frustrated

Okay, does anyone else feel like 2024 has been a scooter to the ankle or what?? Big vent, would appreciate solidarity.

I'm still living with family after a year, in my late 20s, because of a dangerous living situation where I was traumatised by an abusive housemate. Being forced to leave my home of 2 years that I made into my own little sanctuary, has caused such devastating loss of identity. I feel like a 14 year old with no sense of agency and have totally mentally regressed. I love my mother, I'm so grateful for all she's done for me. We are just not compatible with living together.

After living out of home and really developing my sense of self, it feels like a huge step back. I was forced to move a whole year ago and have not thrived at all since. This whole year has been focused on healing and spending all my savings on EMDR. Now I can't afford to even live my life.

Anyway...I could not find another place, thanks to the rental crisis, so I just stayed. Then I had plans to move in with my partner fairly soon, so I was like okay cool, finally a new start!

Nope, his housemate isn't on board yet and now I need to look for my own place again. I am DREADING it. I don't know how anyone has managed to secure a rental in this time.

On top of this, I haven't dealt with the grief of 2 loved ones passing suddenly at the start of the year.

Then, the other day I was nearly attacked outside my work by an unhinged stranger. Been triggered ever since. I'm scared to go to work. Cannot access regular therapy. Now it's November and it feels like I've been treading mud the entire time. Nothing has gone to plan, and every time it feels like I've got things sorted, the plan falls through. I'm so beyond burnt out and don't want to try anymore. This year sucks. Thanks if you read this far.

3 replies

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In response to: Exhausted and frustrated

Ru-beeModerator05 Nov 2024, 2:08 pm AEDT

Re: Exhausted and frustrated

Hi @Elusive_fairy that is a rough year indeed.

Living with parents as an adult can make it feel like you're reverting back to those old roles from years ago. It's definitely a difficult situation, as its great that you were able to have that place to stay when you needed it, you can still be grateful and know that continuing to stay there is not healthy for you, or the relationship.

The rental market is an absolute mess right now, all I can do is commiserate and hope that you get lucky and find a place soon!

What I'm noticing in your post is that even though this year has been rotten in a number of ways, you've still persisted - you're actively working to get back on your feet, and you've spent time investing in your wellbeing and recovery. That takes a lot of strength and is something not everyone would be able to do when faced with the same challenges.

Here's hoping that 2024 closes on a gentle note for you, because even though you've demonstrated that you've definitely got stores of resilience, I'm sure it'd be nice to not need to draw from it for a little while.

In response to: Exhausted and frustrated

Cleo2Senior Contributor05 Nov 2024, 3:30 pm AEDT

Re: Exhausted and frustrated

Sounds like your nerves are frazzled. Wishing you a peaceful place to live.

In response to: Re: Exhausted and frustrated

Elusive_fairyContributor05 Nov 2024, 3:33 pm AEDT

Re: Exhausted and frustrated

Hi @Ru-bee. Yes, that's exactly it! We revert back to old family roles. No matter how much we get along, it's so unhealthy for us to live together again.

Despite my previous living situation being tumultuous, and bad for mental health in other ways, it made me realise how critical it is for me to have my own safe space and independence.

I've lost that for over a year and don't even know who I am anymore.

Yep, the market is busted. The stress is creeping back after being blindsided again.

Thank you so much for the kind words. Oh to have a day without needing to be resilient... it would be a blessing. I'm done with it all.

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