Newish member, already burning out

Hi @MumMumMum ,

Welcome for joinnig us here and well done on reaching out. I can only imagine how stressful it muct be to handle everything you have all at once....

Hopefully you will be able to find some support here. Let us know if there is anything we can help you with.

Hello @MumMumMum

Reading your post I'm struck with the amount of weight that you must be carrying while trying to support your family, and before touching on your son, I want to ask whether you have any supports in place? I can hear that your family relies on you heavily, who are you able to lean on when things feel overwhelming?

Caring for a loved one who is legally an adult, at least in regards to medical decisions, can be a huge challenge. We can't force others to accept treatment, even if we can see the benefit it would do them. The only times that adults can be forced into treatment is in cases where they are at immediate risk of significantly hurting themself or others. This can leave us feeling somewhat powerless in these situations.

Some actions you can take are to stay in the loop with his psychologist as much as you're able so that you can ensure that you are on the same page in his support, and this can hopefully also provide you with some guidance and strategies on how to best do this.

You can also enforce some boundaries around respectful behaviours in the home. Boundaries are very hard to set, and there will be pushback. It's helpful to remember that setting boundaries doesn't mean that you are able to control another's behaviour, but it sets a precedent on how you will respond, and when maintained consistently it will show that certain behaviours will not bring the response they're looking for from you.

Lastly, you can ensure that your son knows that you will be there to encourage and support his engagement in treatment the moment he is ready. This must be a very confusing and overwhelming time for him and sometimes it feels less frightening to stay in this space, rather than accepting help and making oneself vulnerable. It may just take time for him to feel ready.

Again, as much as you can I encourage you to take care of yourself and reach out for and accept help and support when you're able, and know that the forums community is here for you

Hi,

Just to clarify, my son is 15 so not an adult, he is seeing a psychiatrist (after seeing a psychologist and trying to get another referral when she went on leave, others thought his case was too complex).

He is taking SSRIs which seem to be completely ineffective, but won't consider taking the anti-psychotics that the psychiatrist recommends. The psych is not a big pusher of meds, but kid won't engage in any other strategies either.

I see my own psychologist but honestly feel pretty hopeless.

I find the boundary setting during this period very challenging and would appreciate any guidance here.

Ah I see @MumMumMum I know that the medical age of consent differs from state to state which is what I meant when referring to him being seen as an adult in terms of medical decisions.

It's interesting that he's agreed to take one form of medication but not another. Has he explained why he won't take the anti-psychotic medication?

Boundary setting is always made more challenging when it is with someone under your care. It's not as if you could remove yourself from the situation, and of course you still need to (and I'm sure want to) be able to care for them. I find this thread particularly helpful in it's discussion of setting boundaries, particularly as it discusses lived experience of setting boundaries with children: Boundary setting: Hints and quotes - SANE Forums I'd really recommend having a read through to see if anything resonates with you