Am Not Coping

@Pepsimax @Phoenix_Rising

There are many here with arm scars .....

Call them battle scars, stretch marks, whatever you are comfortable with, and as @utopia said .... treat them, and you, gently ....

Products are available at the chemist for scars ..... that might be one form of self-care that helps you to treat yourself gently.

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@utopia wrote:
I think what's really going on with me at the moment - is that I know there is an emotion that is stuck just under the surface. I'm a bit worried that if I allow it to come out - that one thing after another will come out. That it will be too much.

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That is a yuck space to be in One of the reasons I am so desperate to get things moving with NP is that I've been near-constantly in a dissociative state for about 20 months now - since the major event that heralded the end of the "complex" relationship with my previous psych. I recognise that it is because my brain is flooded with big feelings and with all my failed help-seeking attempts, it is doing the only thing it can to protect itself. I am desperate to start unpacking all the layers of trauma so that I can heal my brain. So yep, I can hear your fear around allowing multiple layers of big feelings to come out.

I can really notice in my brain and in the rest of my body, how different this experience is to other experiences I've had, such as grief over a very discrete event (i.e. not complicated by other stuff). When my beloved dog passed away four years ago, the grief was all-consuming (and I still continue to grieve for him). However, I really noticed it was...um...a "pure" kind-of a feeling. That is, it wasn't complicated and murky like other experiences I've had where people have bailed out of my life. I cried SO MUCH after my dog died, but it felt safe and healthy and ok to do that.

Thank you for sharing - it has allowed me an opportunity to reflect on how very different these different situations have been in my life

@utopia I would never ignore your 'ramblings' my friend - and they aren't excuses - they are your feelings - and they are important Definitely don't finish that app tonight - wait to you are in a better place to deal with it. I am not far off bed either - taking my meds earlier seem to be kicking in!

Imagine me close to you tonight - creating a safe and happy bubble around you to help you sleep peacefully and wake feeling happy and rejuvinated

@Pepsimax I didn't sleep well last night and ended up with too much circling around in my head ....

Having a pyjama day today, and about to take a nap.

Thanks for asking after me .... this doesn't happen often now but was the pattern I was in when I joined the forums last year.

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@Faith-and-Hope Seems like you sleep tally was very low last night. If you need to off load anything circling in your head then here to listen If you just need a nap - then enjoy the rest. I won't be too far off bed but will be up for a little longer if you need.

Zoe

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@Pepsimax wrote:
@Phoenix_Rising does this get you down or do you think it is just a coping behavior

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@Zoe7@Pepsimax Hmmm...my last post appeared in a larger font. That's strange. I wasn't really trying to make a loud statement @Pepsimax Does it get me down that I have scars on my arm? No. As someone said, they are battle scars. They bear testimony to what I have survived thus far. Having said that, my scars are high up on my arm such that I can generally choose whether they are visible or not. You will never see me in a singlet top or a sleeveless dress (actually, you will never see me in any dress )and I have to work hard to find blouses with long enough sleeves, but I can generally manage. The time I am most self-conscious is when I go for a swim. However, what the heck do I care what random strangers think?

Did I see a post earlier from you today about your co-workers talking about your scars? I can certainly see how difficult that would be for you

Thanks @Zoe7

Unsure about sharing my concerns, cos usually I can switch them off, knowing that now is not the time to address them because there are no substantial answers available until we can access specialists and ask the questions in response to where WH is really at ....

Some answers belong in the future, and I don't want you guys worrying about me in the interim .... I just have to keep treading water, and batting all the "what if's" out of my way .... same way I have been advising you .... lol .... drinking my own medicine here .... :face_with_rolling_eyes:😏

@Phoenix_Rising

Think that co-workers ref was @Former-Member ....

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