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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Morning @Faith-and-Hope

Sorry if I left you last night - it all came crashing down on me and I wasn't coping very well!

I had a really horrible night afterwards - was expected I suppose given the shock of the day combined with everything else!

I rang the new practice this morning. The receptionist was really lovely - did ease my mind a little! Have also contacted my GP to let her know and she is going to talk to them today about my appointments so that also helps. Next step is actually going there and seeing new people - that one will be hard.

I am feeling like I am sitting on a cliff edge this morning and any breeze will push me over - so hoping for a calm day here!

Hope you are ok today and coping ok with the latest 'revelations' from WH.

Thinking of you...

Zoe

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@Zoe7

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7 ..... 🤗💚💕

Hi @Former-Member .... 🤗💕 .... have just arrived at the local coffee shop and no sooner I stepped safely through the door, there was a huge downpour .....

I haven't gotten back to your Good Morning thread greeting yet @Former-Member ..... so good morning ..... 💐

@Zoe7 ..... I woke up this morning and had a good cry. WH was off jogging so I had space to myself and let it all out.

Then I responded to someone who shares my faith on the C-forum and my scientific brain started to kick in .....

I am in a very special situation where I don't have to pack up the household I have here in order to spend time there, at least in the short term. We have a family property in Melb that is self-sufficient, so I can literally pack a case and go .... we all can, including S2 ..... and he can come back and pack up what he wants when he is in his own place over there, which won't happen immediately anyway.

D1 and SIL will be in a position to start a family in the next year if they choose to, so that will create stronger ties with the west.

Moving interstate will break the daily interaction between WH and MIL and the changes will cause us to have to work together to achieve them.

If we are in Melb, then WH being treated for the e.d., when that comes out of the closet, will happen over there.

Once S2 has established an independ by sense of manhood, and the e.d. is found and treated, this will change the entire landscape, and I am predicting that within two years we will be back here ...... bouncing backwards and forwards in between which will become tiring too once the novelty wears off.

I would love to visit Tassie and New Zealand, and an uncle in North Qld, and my mum's best friend in Sydney ..... so those things are more likely while we are over there too .....

Silver linings starting to emerge.

@Zoe7 ..... holding you close to my heart this morning ......

Love and hugs ...... 💚💐💕🦋

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I am glad you rang the new practice @Zoe7 and found a friendly voice there. That's a great start, and I am proud of you.

💚

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@Faith-and-Hope I was thinkng about Melbourne and how WH would be without MIL everyday - my thinking also was that could be a really could thing for you all.

I can fully understand you having a good cry this morning - such a shock to the system and having some time to process it all it is no wonder you cried this morning

As I have already said (and this is purely selfish on my part) - at least you will be in the same time zone and closer to Tassie. I suppose in a way I can see that as WE will become closer

The best thing that I can see coming from this move would actually be S2 finding his own feet and being able to 'start fresh' with some self-confidence. As much as you really need WH to 'get better' - maybe that will start to eventuate when he can see S2 is moving forward - HIS catalyst for change if you like!

I have been to New Zealand - both North and South islands - absolutely beautiful. There are so many similarities between NZ and Tassie. My favourite time was sitting on the foreshore in Queenstown, sun out, a slight chill in the air, but so peaceful. There were few people around so it was quiet, and I was alone so I could just sit and BE - magical. I would love to go back one day.

I am definitely keeping you close to my heart today also Hon - I am not struggling as bad as I was last night but I do know I am still right on the edge. The changes here have to happen so I need to deal with that but it really has come at a very bad time. I have had several messages from my GP this morning - so she is fully aware of how this is affecting me (and I know she held off telling me because I was so unwell but she couldn't leave it any longer). I feel really silly that something like this is having such an impact but I do also know that it will mean alot of changes for me - and those are going to be difficult to navigate in my present physical and mental state. I think Toby will be taking some 'road trips' with me to begin with - so I have him close to help with my anxiety. This is happening - I just need to find my way around it!!!

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Well, we are taking leaps of faith simultaneously @Zoe7 .... and yes, I will appreciate being closer to you and in the same time zone ..... 🤗💕

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Maybe I should move to Perth for school terms (get a job there) and come back to Tassie for holidays @Faith-and-Hope

...after all - there will be a house free in Perth lol

In response to: Am Not Coping

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Love it @Zoe7 .... ❣️

🤗

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What about Wolfe @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Am Not Coping

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WH would be just as ready to sell him as to leave his mum @Zoe7 ..... no substantial emotional attachment, certainly not enough to compete with S2's needs as he sees them. Wolfie would stay here to protect the property in the short term ..... and we have a gardener / handyman and homis ling term family friend ex-work employee ...... he and his wife love Wolfie and help to look after him, but his nature and main function are as a guard dog. He will cope with us coming and going, b cause the gardener and wife are part of his "pack".
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