Am Not Coping

@utopia You wouldn't believe it ... I managed to get myself out (well my sister picked me up!!!) - and to see a movie ...HUGE step .. and it was sold out ... BUGGER!!! It was on in a small theatre and it is a public holiday here today so it seems everyone had the same idea! There were so many people around but I actually stayed and had a hot chocolate in the cafe. We sat in a nice quiet little corner and it wasn't noisey at all. That made it ok to cope with. Anxiety wasn't too bad and I am home now and don't feel too bad - really tired but feeling ok otherwise.

Hope you have been given some work to do to make the day go a bit faster. Thinking of you and hope you are doing ok Chat later my friend xxx

@utopia yep 3 days - 3 visits. I do only have one sister and it was actually quite nice being with her today. There wasn't any of the usual tension - maybe it was because she really wanted to see the movie and was disappointed. She also knew I was really tired and it was a big effort to even make it out. I suggested we try again Friday - don't fall off your chair - she doesn't work Fridays and it just came out of my mouth without thinking. I might regret that later in the week but we will see how it goes.

Really glad that you got some work that would make you think - takes your mind off yourself for a while. There are two things I hate at work - 1. is being bored and 2. is being overloaded - but I hate boredom more. That is when I don't cope the most - this is also one of the reasons that I am still struggling so much. I know that I can't work and my body needs to be able to repair but that is very hard when I am not mentally able to cope either - another one of our catch 22 situations - both need each other to get better and neither one is doing very well!!! I did tell my sister today that I am trying not to worry about how long I will be off work - it could be one term or one year - don't know and can't control what I don't know!!!! Possibly a major breakthrough there my friend

Hope you are feeling a little better this afternoon.

PS That Cocky picture was what I made with one of the kids at school a couple of years ago - we made heaps of pom pom animals. I'll try and find a photo of them all together and post it. They were very cute and the kids could just do a little each day when they had finished their other work - even my 'less engaged' kids got their work done so they could work on their animals - yep I am starting to miss them and work!!!

Chat when you get home

@utopia My family know I'm off work they just don't know why!! They just think it's the complications from the flu and the post viral fatigue still. A bit hard to keep me being off work away from them - my mum works at the same school!!! Just another thing to deal with when I'm there.

Just had a little rest - didn't really sleep but layed down for a while - really tired!

Glad you got to go home early and hope you have had a rest too.

How are you feeling tonight?

Chronic fatigue and glandular fever both cause long-term work / school absences @Zoe7 ..... can always suggest either as a smoke screen.

💗

@Faith-and-Hope I was checked for glandualr fever last year and that was ruled out. That's when the tests were done over several months for post-viral fatigue - so don't need to use a smoke screen because I know that is still part of why I am so tired all the time. That really exacerbated my MH issues and sent me on the downward slide so quickly - I just didn't have the physical energy to fight it.

@utopia I'm so sorry you still have him in your head. Tell him to bugger off and find somewhere else to be! - I'm telling him to bugger off for you also

Have a sleep if you need to - chat with me if you want to - go outside and talk to your plants - meditate - do whatever you need to do to help yourself tonight.

Here for you my friend

❤️💕 @utopia ....