Am Not Coping

@Former-Member I did say I would check in when I got back

How am I doing? Good question! I have never been so physically unwell and for so long in my life. It has now been just under 11 months since I went to the doctor and an ambulance was called to take me to hospital. I have had little periods (in summer mostly) when we thought we were getting on top of the illness (physical and mental) and the ongoing lethargy which was a result of the flu. There had been days here and there that I felt 'better' but on the whole it has been 11 months of 'torture'. I don't know how else to describe it. Every day is a struggle to keep going and everyday is a battle to fight through the physical toll it has taken on my body. My difficulty breathing and sore throat has persisted for nearly 2 months now and is aggravated by the cold - which means every night it gets worse. We have trialled and changed meds so many times that I feel like a walking pharmacy. Presently the meds I am taking seem to be 'just working'. I did start to be able, and for a short period the nightmares weren't as severe - but they have increased again recently (I do believe this has alot to do with my physcial 'issues' and not having the energy to 'fight' when triggered). So many of the things that I used to be able to do to 'take my mind off things' are not an option atm becsuse I am so unwell - and that feeds into my inability to distract myself - so the cycle continues and I spiral down quickly. The fact is, most days, I really don't even care - I put on a 'front' for everyone so I don't feel like I am being a burden - when what I really feel and really want I keep to myself. And adding to all this is my constant worry about money and not knowing whether I can afford all my appointments and meds - and the stress of that is added into the vicious cycle. So how am I doing? Bloody fantastic!!!!

I'm sorry about that vicious cycle @Zoe7 and how much your health suffers - and when we are run-down we can catch anything that blows past and wow

I understand - I think it was last Friday when I was at the doctor's clinic and everyone was coughing and snuffling and sniffing - aw - without prejudice - it sounded a bit like something from a sound-track of a David Attenborough production - I was unconsciously holding my breath and asked the nurse if I could lay down in the recovery room - and I don't usually bother about such things -

I really hope you get a break soon - but in Tassie - it might be October I guess

@Faith-and-Hope

I really hope that WH will get some help and thank God S1 told you about this. Let's all look up and pray this is going to be a turning point

Dec

Gosh @Zoe7 you're going through so much! And going through this for 11 months would be so exhausting!! It is such a vicious cycle and one that I truely hope will stop for you soon.

In the meantime, keep talking to us here and at the Help Centre when you need/want to. You can share with us what you are truely going through and how you are feeling without feeling like a burden. We are here for you

I hope you are able to manage a decent amount of sleep tonight @Zoe7 and hope that the weekend isnt too tough for you. I will no doubt chat to you next week and check in with you then

P.S: Sorry it took me so long to respond...I got a tad snowed under tonight!

Take care @Zoe7

Just dropping you off some brekkie @Zoe7.

Hope your Saturday is good for you 💗

I really love the look of that brekkie @CheerBear and for you

Also

Dec

@Faith-and-Hope HI Hon. If you are around tonight and have time I could do with the company. I understand if you can't though