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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Dolphins - yea

How are you today @Faith-and-Hope - and I want the real answer not the "I am OK - one step at a time" answer Hon!!

Zoe

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

🤗💕.

I'm okay @Zoe7, but still doing hard yards that require my big girl pants.

Now that we have cancelled our mud-year trip away, I have to start sorting out the house again, and it's overwhelming, so yes, baby steps it is to get through it all.

I have had 30 years of house disasters -

House builds

House moves including o erswas and back

Builder going out of business and our incomplete house inexcessibke under their receivership with me threatening to miscarry and our house needing emergency sorting into half-storage, half-rental house.

Floods and floods of i law gifts for 5 kids.

House extensions.

House rennovations.

10 years of eoof leaks from dodgy extensions.

Burst water pipe flood - pack up, rent, refurbish, move back in.

Hailstorm flood - move house

More rennos and extension.

Home-based baptisms, 18ths, 21sts, engagements, other major occasions .... for 100 guests at a time so everything gets dumped out of sight and moved around and has to be resorted and put back in place afterwards ......

WH and the kids stopped working my systems in the new house - 7 years ago - and I could t keep up with other life dramas going on ..... WH's in-denial illness, started going away every school holidays which was my re-group time, dislocations and other illness knocking us around as well.

I have kept the basic household functioning, but there is a tonne of backlog for sorting, giving away, finding places for in the house ..... and it means revisiting the systems that keep it all manageable with WH wrestling me for the steering wheel and prioritising his own needs first, second, and third, which doesn't work for the rest of us.

I threw my hands in the air a couple
If years ago cos I just couldn't do it any more, and I just manage my own areas of the house and do the washing, cooking, cleaning etc when and as and how I can.

Time to take on the monumental task again ..... but the stuff I have tidied this week has stayed tidied for now, and the pdoc having reigned WH in means that I am stepping up to trying to defend my systems and discuss how to deal appropriatwy with our adult children over this.

Wish me luck ..... 😔

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Oh sweetheart - I wish you more than luck! Sorry - but I may make you tear up again... @Faith-and-Hope ...

In this world full of disaster and pain there are some true shining lights... when they shine, they shine brighter than any star and touch the hearts of those both near and far. Their own pain is often hidden to give hope to others and that hope is delivered without needing anything in return. The light that shines the brightest is the one that has true resilience and compassion within. Without these shining lights in our lives hope would be lost - but I have hope because you shine a light everyday into my life - and I love you for it

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That's beautiful @Zoe7...you actually made me tear up and you weren't even writing to me! Your a lucky woman @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I have that affect on a lot of people @Former-Member lol

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Just lost a lengthy reply to you @Zoe7 - internet st home went down .... so I will check later wether it auto-saved .... but wanted to say a very big thank you and send you hugs in return for your beautiful words.

💐🌷💐🌷💐🌷💐🌷💕

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Faith-and-Hope @utopia @lapses @Zoe7, @Pepsimax @oceangirl @lisajane @OverTheEdge @Dec @TheVorticon xx

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Shaz51 hi how was your day I had a rest day today vwry busy yesterday I needed it still tired

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

hellooooo @Pepsimax, how are you today xx

I am ok tonight, a bit tired but ok

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 Are you OK? You've been rather quiet for a wee while. Hugzzz 💕🎶💕
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