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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7. Did you get some sleep last night?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Pepsimax @Owlunar

I had some sleep but it was off and on - headache and feeling sick really made it hard.

My head is really heavy still but only a slight headache - still feeling quite sick though.

Am allowed some meds for my headache over the next few days - didn't work very well last night but hopefully will help today as it isn't as bad as it was.

I probably sound like I'm worrying for now reason but I am concerned about how this change of meds is affecting me both mentally and physically, how long I will feel like this, and how I am going to cope if it continues for too long. I knew there would be some side effects but was really hoping they would be really small and I could deal with them - NOT dealing with them very well atm.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7. A change over in meds is hard. But today when you go to the chemist - stop and get some herbal tea's that help with calmness. Your chemist could recommend some that might help.
It's hard - but the more you worry about it - the worse thd symptoms get. So it would be good to find a way to shut down those fears as soon as they arrive. Have a plan in place for this. Maybe any time thode worries come - you will wipe over the kitchen bench.
or you will pick up a pencil and doodle. Or you will get up and go and find where Cat is hiding.
Make a plan and try and stick with it everytime. You can do this!
I'm off to do the shopping & my son needs to buy a present for his brother. Will wait and see what he chooses.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@utopia Finding where Cat is sleeping is a good idea. Toby is wherever I am so he's easy to find!!

I'm sure your son will choose something his brother will like.

Hope you are staying as cool as possible today.

Better go to the chemist. Talk later

Zoe

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 I'm glad you got some sleep even if it wasn't that great just do little things for yourself today I'm around for you today I didn't get home until late 10pm you had gone

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Pepsimax It was a really tough night. Seems like they all are at the moment. Made it a bit harder that there was no-one around for a while (was a really quiet night here) - but I did contact my GP. I didn't want to take anything without her telling me to (one of my safety points) and even though it didn't help much at least I stuck to the plan. I wouldn't have done that a few days ago!

How are you doing today? Feeling any better or just treading water still?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 I'm really pleased you contacted your gp last night well done!! I did try to talk last night but it was very late I am doing well feel better the last couple of days

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

You stuck with the plan you made with your gp. That's great. I know its not easy. But you are doing it.
I figured Toby would be too easy to find @Zoe7. Lol. That's why I suggested Cat.
My boy was looking at inappropriate toys for a 2 year old. Every time I suggested it - he said dad wouldn't like it. So I explained that at 2 - toys need to help teach fine mmotor skills and his brothers mum - does this sort of play with his brother all the time. I suggested books. His response - his brother doesn't rdad. Duh!!! I said books are for him to pretend read and his parents will read it to him. He said - dad doesn't read to him. I said - no your dad doesn't read or play with him. But his mother does. Just like I did with you. And you can read and play with your brother. In the end - he agreed to a present I saw. 3 buckets - a rake and spade and shapes. He said - dad won't let him have sand. I said - he can play with it - without sand. His mum will put water in a bucket & he will tip the water into other containers.
My poor boy. All these things that his dad never did for him. So hard to see him acknowledge this.
I'm just hoping that it makes him a better brother - than hid dad is a father

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@utopia @Pepsimax After talking to my GP yesterday about my concerns if I do contact her it definitely made it easier to find the courage last night to do it. I probably should have contacted her again during the night but I just didn't have the energy.

@Pepsimax I certainly didn't mean to suggest that you weren't around personally - even the moderator wasn't around - I understand now why but it was really difficult at the time! Pleased that you have been doing better the last few days

@utopia Sounds like you handle the present situation really well

Hopefully your boy will see what a positive role model he can be for his brother as he grows up - do the opposite to his father and he will be an awesome big brother. Sad for him to acknowledge what he has missed out on himself but hopefully will make him a stronger and more attentive brother.

How is your last little plant going - any positive signs of regrowth today?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thank you @Zoe7. Yes I hope my son does the opposite of his dad. He is a great kid. Thankful we have my mum and sister as positive role models. Just wish my son had some positive male role models in his life.
Yes - not having to worry about police or hospital will make it easier to reach out. Think it was quiet here last night due to the heat.
Two of the plants don't look good. But I haven't given up on them. They just need more time. They suffered the hardest when they were first planted. So they will take longer to catch up to the others. A bit like premy babies. Just need more time thann full term bubs.
Oh god - did I just make it sound like my plants were my babies!!! Lock me up now!!
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