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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I am starting to get a much better picture of what it is like for you sometimes @Eden1919 I do get the safety thing - not wanting to move and being hyper-vigilent when the fears take over - as any little movement or thought could bring on the danger. It is a really scary place to be - and it is not just in your mind - it consumes every inch of you - there is no room for any rational thought as all your instincts and thoughts are solely 'survival'

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member anyone around to chat to?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It seems that in the middle of the night when I am still awake and not able to even consider sleeping that I am also completely alone. I don't necessarily need to 'talk' but I do need some company to help distract me from my thoughts. This is the hardest part of the day - it is entering the time of the night when I am exhausted but awake, my mind is in over-drive and I am in the middle of the darkness - not knowing what to do, where to turn or how to find my way through.

There have been so many people on here providing support, kind words and encouragement to fight through until the storm lifts and better times may present themselves - but I don't believe this will happen. I have been standing in the rain while the flood waters slowly rise to cover me. The flood level is so high now that I am barely able to keep my head above it and keep breathing - one more downpour and I will be under. The flood does not seem like it will ever abate - the dam walls broke weeks ago and the water came rushing in with intensity and force. Now it is so deep and fast flowing that no-one or nothing can wade it's way through to reach me - I am going under - it is only a matter of time until it happens. I fear the only rescue that will come will be eternal darkness. I am seeing this as nearly inevitable - I do not think I have any hope left - and I certainly cannot see any light in the distance. Maybe fighting it is a futile exercise and I should simply give in to my thoughts and allow my fears to become reality. Either way - I have no future - and the past wins the final race!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I'm around @Zoe7 🙂
I just sent you an email checking in as I was worried about your last post and the thoughts you are having.

We can chat tonight if you like?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Sans911 Thought it might be more appropriate to chat in this thread. Hope you don't mind!

Yep I am struggling. I always do in the early hours f the morning if I can't sleep or am woken during the night. My sleepy meds don't work when my mind is racing - sometimes I 'fight' through it because I don't want to sleep. I hate being this way too - so frustration, exhausting and debilitating at times.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 it sucks to hear you are still awake that must be really annoying to be dealing with although I am in the same boat but I don't feel nearly as tired as you must. And yes the fear is awful and often comes along with the depression for me if you are still up I will probably be around for another hour to chat

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7No I don't mind. I am still navigating my way around this site, and where and how I fit, so I am ok with being directed. Yes, I just read your post above, and I am sorry you feel that way. There are many days I feel like I am being tumbled over and over in the surf, fighting to get a breath in, but I can't. So in the end I give up and give in to the darkness that envelopes me. I let myself drown because at least I can be at peace for a while. And I don't have to keep fighting the stupid fight.This week has been especially difficult. It's the first time in probably the last 9months that I just really want to stop getting better, whatever that better looks like. I want to stop being in DBT, therapy, whatever. It's just tiresome and frustrating.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Sans911 I get that feeling of wanting to quit trying to get better sometimes it all seems like too much effort.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Eden1919@- hey didn't realise you were still awake!! But of course I have noticed you and @Zoe7@ are night owls

I have missed 2 DBT sessions already, one because I just had surgery, and one because I just couldn't do it. If I miss another 2 sessons, I will be kicked off. I just don't if I really care anymore, because I haven't seen the skills be that helpful in managing my SH & SI impulses, which is one of my biggest issues in the last 6 months.I have gained some benefit in other areas, but nothing life chaging or moving goal posts.

And the thought of changing therapists-uggggh. I can't even go there.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Sans911 We are not night owls by choice here argh

Hi @Eden1919 my night time buddy - have you had any sleep?

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