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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member @Eden1919 I am in major self-doubt and self-loathing mode. That is my default setting when I don't have the energy to fight it. What kind of people think it is ok to hurt others - to take away their dignity, their safety, their self-respect and their choices?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Oh, I'm sorry you feel this bad. Would it help to talk about the trauma event (within guidelines)?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Oh @Former-Member - I have talked a little about the trauma here before - multiple trauma and very complex - very, very hard to talk about!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

oh i have so many names for those people @Zoe7 and possibly none of them will be allowed on here.

I have asked that question so many times.. and why me? what was it about me? (all the self blame wrapped up in there)

im not sure there's ever going to be a satisfactory answer.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 Only horrible people do that. none of this was your fault and you should not loathe yourself at all however I understand you cannot just snap out of your feelings. what is making you doubt yourself?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7, have you given "mindfulness of thoughts & feelings" a good go? It has helped me to reconnect with my emotions. I too suffer cPTSD, thebmindfulnesscand Self-Compasdion therapy have helped.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Same - same - and same!!!! @Former-Member

Those questions are the hardest things to deal with I think - why me and there are no answers!

I know why me when I was an adult - and I certainly do blame myself for not having the courage to leave and to be safe - but as a child - that part I will never understand why I was 'chosen'.

I do find it more difficult to deal with the abusive relationship because I did have a choice - but we both know that that choice is not easy when you are right in the middle of the 'chaos'. You are too scared to stay and too scared to go - and when you know your life is threatened either way there really is no choice at all.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member It is a very complicated situation in regards to therapy and strategies such as mindfulness. I really can't go into that here again atm - it is in itself triggering.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Well .... I have brought hot chocolate ..... but we're gonna have to all drink it together ....

It might take us all night tho .....

Hugs @Zoe7 ..... 💚💕🦋

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I think for those of us with these flashes, its so hard to do mindfulness because when ever i try to relax, or just let my thoughts be images, movies, excruciating things pop up and overwhelm and theres no way to just sit iwth it. or to notice it curiously. I have tried. I use smiling mind daily with my work and ive seen it make a massive difference with my little people.

does anyone drink herbal teas? i'm having achamomile with some ginger and lemon at the moment. it was a long long long day today. i havent slept well lately and im so hoping that i will get some sleep tonight.

@Zoe7 @Former-Member @Eden1919

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