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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I know how good it makes you feel when you can 'control' that part of your life - one less thing to 'worry' about when your nails are looked after @Faith-and-Hope (I do remember your nail problems )

Isn't it always the little things that others would seem to be insignificant or trivial that can actually life our mood F&H and help us to cope with the 'bigger' issues a little better. My little thing is having a tidy house - I find it more difficult to de-clutter my mind when the environment around me is messy (that is often difficult with Toby toys everywhere lol)

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I am the same way to an extent @Zoe7 ..... I don't mind the normal sort of general "moving" clutter where a few things haven't been put away yet, but if the level gets to chaos, I just can't find peace of mind.

I need to have a least a clear stretch of bench top before I can cook there, and I pull out a bag for rubbish and run the dishwater before I start .....

I think in systems very much, so i am most comfortable when what I am doing works within a system, or guidelines, or boundaries .... and that may be part of my intuitive "join the dots" brain .....

I went to visit a friend for a while .... just to sit and not have to be anywhere or doing anything ..... just relax in her company. It has given me a bit of a recharge.

How are you doing ?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I am the same way to an extent @Zoe7 ..... I don't mind the normal sort of general "moving" clutter where a few things haven't been put away yet, but if the level gets to chaos, I just can't find peace of mind.-- me ttoooo @Faith-and-Hope, @Zoe7 xx

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I'm exactly the same @Faith-and-Hope - I need an ordered and clear workspace - no matter what I am doing - cooking, paperwork, painting, etc. etc.

I do remember you saying that you have a bag on the bench for rubbish while you are cooking and if I remember clearly you put dishes in to soak as you go...is that correct?

My Mum tells everyone that if I got a letter from the government I would have a canniption - because she thinks I am very 'strict' on sticking to rules. I kind of am but the exceptions are certainly when I don't feel rules are fair or equal for all and then I will 'have an opinion'!!!!

I do believe that my need for a clear physical and head space is to do with spatial perception and visualisation - a bit like your 'join the dots' brain

So wonderful you could have some space and 'time out' for yourself tonight away from the 'mayhem' with a good friend.

I'm still just getting by but I am getting by...!

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

💐💜💕 @Zoe7 .....

Taking pizza home to my girls ....

Night off tonight .... girls movie and pizza .... chill time.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That sounds so lovely @Faith-and-Hope enjoy...

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi there Zoe, F&H & Shaz, good to see you and talk about every day stuff. Clutter crowds me in too. Gives a sense of being 'out of control' (anxiety). With my visits this w'end I made an effort to tidy. I sure feel more at peace with clear benches and floor. Since they say 'everything needs a place' I created a drawer specially for candles & insence & oil burner stuff (old fridge containers make great dividers), now I can find them whenbi need to. I often light candles for people on my heart, even insence. But also like smelly things. Scented Wax is great in oil burners.
I have recycled marmite jars for little stationary things and keep them upside down in a draw for easy finds. Putting things away us my biggest problem. Gotta make it easy. Also if I can find stuff, I don't go buy new ones lol

Anyway, glad you're on the mend Zoe and that F&H is having a girls night in with Pizza & Movie. I'm enjoying a movie too after a busy day and light fruit dinner. What you doing @Shaz51?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Oh @Former-Member - a girl after my own heart lol I have everything in see through containers - sorted of course and all my school stuff is coloured coded for each subject. Even my booksare sorted according to subjects lol My house is still in the process of being renovated so there is constantly a lot of mess around that I can't put away until I am well enough to finish the renovations - that is quite annoying at times but I have come to be able to live with it a little better.

I've just done a little more of my painting - I'll put it up soon.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Former-Member

Butterfly Girl (still more to go but getting there)...

Painting for my sister (have at least started)...

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@STORMGRL101 @Eden1919 - welcome to our little corner of the world...

*Zoe rolls out the welcome mat for Storm and Eden...*

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