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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Do you want to describe a bit more baout whats going on?
I often feel like things are just behind this thinly veiled curtain in my head and they either loom out as shadows or else completely zoom out on me when im not expecting it (all my stresses/worries/past memories etc). So i think i kind of get what you mean by it being just there...
Would it help to talk through what some of it is though?
hugs
@Zoe7

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member I think I have been pushing things down for a while now as I have not felt comfortable actually asking for support. I have even been keeping some things I have been feeling from my GP. Sometimes I think it is just the same sh*t, different day and I should be getting over it - but I'm really nowhere near that. I suppose I feel like constantly going over the same thing and not getting anywhere and that I think that it gets monotonous for others to hear - so I don't say anything.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@utopia I am more than happy for you to jump in here also if you have anything to add my friend.

@Faith-and-Hope Thanks Hon - completely understand

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

are you in my head? I keep thinking similar things, that people are sick of me! That I 'should' have learned how to handle the crud better by now etc. Lots and lots of 'shoulds' unfortunately the crud (major depression/ptsd) for me doesnt listen to the 'shoulds' and does its own thing!

I guess for your/my team they do need to know whats going on (really going on) to be able to help appropriately. though unfortunately there's not a 'fix all' soloution out there yet that feels like more than bandaid first aid to me at the moment (now that might be too honest and not very helpful??)

I'd rather hear how you are really going than that you're 'ok' when you're not. And it wont feel monotonous to me,

hugs

@Zoe7

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I don't think there is room for both you and me in your head lol - or mine either for that matter lol

Compared to where I have been in previous months I am ok! @Former-Member I'm not good, I'm not bad - I really am somewhere stuck in the middle.

i can really see so many positive steps that I have taken - even though they are really small steps - they are still steps forward. But I also know that there are major hurdles I need to address that I am really scared to even consider. It still feels like any tiny little setback at this stage could send me right back under the water again.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

🙂 that is great, you have come a long way, i did mean to say that too lol!
What types of things do you mean that you are 'pushing down' ? and not being able to talk about ? Is it the stuff that the psychologist was pushing you to deal with perhaps to early on that you're anticipating to be difficult again?
I can understand the fear of going backwards, after my hospital visit i was really worried that i would end up needing to go back to that, that anything that could happen would send me back to rock bottom again.
sorry, i didnt quite get it before,
lj

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member @Zoe7. We need to go over some things multiple times. Maybe hundreds of times. We need to keep going over them, until we get them. Until we've healed. Until we can breathe without pain.
And I think there is no better place to do this than here - on the forum - where we are safe in anonymity - but still surrounded by those who understand. Who don't judge.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That is true too @utopia

changing patterns of thinking and pathways in the brain is hard... and repetition is probably the only real way...

lj

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@utopia That has been a major dilemma for me here lately though. I have not felt safe or comfortable and certainly not felt like I could ask for that support or to be able to 'talk' about anything - even with those who I am close to and I know do understand

@Former-Member I don't feel like I have been able to talk about anything from a personal persepctive at all. I have been very guarded it what I have shared and often to the point where I have simply logged off and stayed away.

I am also really concerned about going back to the psychologist and dealing with any of that stuff but I also know that the 'stuff' that keeps me from sleeping or wakes me during the night is not going away or getting any easier and that whilst this is happening I am always going to be in a place that is less than safe for me.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member @Zoe7 - sometimes our friends or family don't want to hear that we are still struggling with 'the same old thing'. Sometimes we don't tell them because we don't want to hurt them. Or maybe they just don't get it.
We may protect ourselves and not say something to our doctors. It might be too hard to say out loud yet. We might think we know what they will say & we don't want to hear it yet. It may be easier writing it here - than saying it out loud to a person, face to face.
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