Am Not Coping

Yes i'm here @Zoe7. Using mums computer, so checking my facebook as well.

You alright?

Just! @utopia Sitting on the edge - defintely could go either way tonight

How are you doing tonight?

@CheerBear images up - that is SUPER cool ...and I really love the fact that you sent strawberries as I know you don''t personally like them but they are my favourites - sooooo sweeet

@Zoe7. I was a bit worried about you replying to other threads. Can be a bit hard when feeling fragile. Make sure you keep looking after you first.

I'm okay. Just flat. Haven't sunk all the way down yet. And tomorrow I have to try to get up in the morning and then not sleep during the day. fingers crossed.

I know which thread you are talking about @utopia - didn't read it - title popping up was enough to skim and know it was too much. Now not going to be the easiest night to get through - haven't taken my night meds 'cos don't want to sleep - will have to take the night as it comes!!!

I think I am coming down with something - been really flat and extremely tired and achey for a couple of days now. My neck is really sore and I my head is 'foggy'. I nearly hit a car today because I was not concentrating (think I might have actually closed my eyes for a second!!!) - just wanted the world to disappear. Came straight home and cried.

I am so glad you haven't sunk all the way down yet - but that flat feeling still really sucks!!!

Getting up at the same time each day is easy - the hard part is staying up and not going back to bed because you are too tired - and because you can!!!! I'll cross my fingers for you too my beautiful friend

@Zoe7. Are the night meds just to help you sleep? In which case I can understand you not wanting to take them. Do they help with anxiety? Because then it would be good to take them.

I'm worried about you driving at the moment, while your body is still getting used to the new med doses and when you haven't slept enough. Are you able tomorrow to get a taxi to your doctors appointment and the chemist? I think you can request a female driver.

Yes, I didn't see the post before it was pulled. Just the heading.

I'll wake up tomorrow morning no problem. But I might need you to scream at me to stay awake in the afternoon.

I did manage to clean the toilet and the bathroom sink yesterday. Still haven't done the shoer. And I vaccumed the floors on Friday, but didn't mop them. I'm amazed I did all that. Dogs still haven't been walked in months.

Took my anti-anxiety meds late - nearly forgot because I was so tired I had to lay down late this afternoon. I didn't sleep - just resting. Haven't taken my meds tonight that help me sleep - a bit too over stimulated atm and I know I won't be able to sleep yet anyway so there is no point. I did have a nightmare this morning which has shaken me all day. I know I closed my eyes momentarily whilst I was driving as I didn't feel 'right'. I could walk to the GP and chemist but don't think I'd make it lol - it is only a few streets away so just need to stay focussed for literally 2 minutes there and back. I promise I will be very careful. I shouldn'thave tried to do anything today as I knew I wasn't 'right'.

My appointment is 4:30 (as usual) so I'll be able to help keep you occupied and awake until I leave tomorrow afternoon. You have managed to do more housework in a few days than I have done all week (possibly all month) - and as for the dogs going for a walk - the only walk I take Toby on is to the letter box and back (approximately 3 steps from the front door lol)

I don't see the point in mopping the floor when it is wet outside @utopia - Toby can do that when he comes in with his wet hair - a few rolls around on his back - mopping done LOL

I wish my mum would see that as cleaning. @Zoe7. She would just see that as more proof that I wasn't coping. She keeps starting to talk about my son, and now I just tell her to bugger off, I don't want to talk about it. I know she is going to critisise my parenting and that's one topic that would push me right over the top.

Maybe you could do a walk to your gp and chemmist and then the gp could drive you home. Or you could concentrate super hard and be super careful.

I'm starting to get tired. I'm sorry, but I won't be able to stay up and talk to you tonight.

I hope you can focus in your mind on an image you would like to paint, or a safe hideaway like bb has with her tropical island. Or maybe you can picture all the places you would like to visit with Lunar in Europe. Alternatively, you could plan the new renovations to the Octagonal Room. It appears to be forever expanding.

I hope you do manage to get some sleep tonight and that it is dreamless and restful.

I'll be ok @utopia

Sweet dreams my beautiful friend

I'm still awake @Zoe7