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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7 and all, just popping in to say hello to the Octagonal Room. Haven't kept up with recent posts here, Zoe, but glad you are taking care of you by knowing when it's helpful to be here and when not for the time being. Thinking of you.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7
I know that things feel awful for you at the moment and definitely didnt mean to minimse your feelings about how hard things are at the moment! I know that they're awful, but when i say doing well i mean that you are looking after you in so many ways (going to the dr, psychiatrist, taking breaks as you need it socially, setting limits on what you expect of yourself and others). I got pulled up a lil bit by my psychologist as well recently, her perspective on how im doing often doesnt match how i'm feeling though im glad that she can see the things she does, and i'm trying very hard to recognise it too... its just so hard when the issues im facing seem so huge and never ending! But... we are both surviving, both still going each day and here for each other... which is strength! lots of love being shone your way!
lj

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Former-Member

I definitely didn't think you were minimising my feelings at all

My GP says the same thing - she can see how far I've come even if I can't just yet. She doesn't know how hard it has been on here lately though - although she can see that something has had a huge impact on me and I am struggling more than I was. I do feel like I have gone 'downhill' since my last psychologist session over a month ago - a lot has happened since then and I haven't been in any headspace to be able to cope very well with any of it.

I know we are both 'surviving' each day and that is really hard to do at times - for both of us. I get that 'never ending' feeling - it sucks. I tried to verbalise how I was feeling with the psychiatrist the other day and I really couldn't find the words. I couldn't even talk to my GP properly! All I could get out to both is how tired I am. I'm tired of everything - tired of getting by each day, tired of not sleeping properly, tired of what's in my head, tired of how I feel and tired of not being able to stop it. I couldn't even come up with one thing yesterday that I could do over the weekend - too tired to think!!

I am really not sure where I am going or what I am going to do at this point. 'Getting by' is getting harder and harder each day!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Owlunar and @Mazarita

Lovely to hear from you both

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 - yes... thats a word that i have used a lot too because nothing else feels quite right... I just get 'tired' of everything and no energy for facing anything else! i often think that the depth of meaning that 'tired' has for me is completely missed by my psych/old gp. which is probably not a bad thing!
And yeah, i do get the too tired to think, to hard to come up with a decision/idea etc. It just overwhelms me completely sometimes too. But please keep reaching out and letting people/gp etc know if things are feeling like they're getting harder each day at the moment so that you can get the support that you need currently and of course we're here with you!
lj

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

'Reaching out' here has been so hard lately. When I asked for support - which as you know I don't do very often - I got completely overwhelmed by 'other' things. I still don't feel comfortable asking for any help - here or anywhere else - it is a really tough place to be - and I am really 'tired' of feeling like I can't safely ask for help - my anxiety increases dramatically when I think about it and have come to the conclusion that it is easier on me not to ask! I'm stuck again @Former-Member - the same thing that could help me is causing me a lot of stress also - so bloody hard!!!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Its a very complicated old world! 😞 and if only there was a manual for how to solve every problem we have... Im pretty good at studying and if it were just printed out somewhere i'm sure i could get things right more often lol! There is an even bigger complexity to communicating on line as well (i think!) and then throw in all our individual mi's, personalities and idiosyncracies and the complexity is probably ooomf to the power of 100.
On here even, i guess we dont have to think about it as 'reaching out'... can just share how you're feeling and see what happens response wise. You dont need to respond to everyone every time, it might just be reading through the answers. I know i don't expect a reply, (replies are nice!) but sometimes i know people just need to absorb or dont have the energy to respond. I get stuck when i do post something for me and people post something nice and caring and kind back to me and I freak out and feel like i need to run and hide for a while lol (people saying good things about me send me into a freaked out spinning mode?!)... and it can take me a while to get back and acknowledge.. but i can only hope that people understand that... but in a space like this its always best to do what you need to do for yourself, self care, first! so no putting added stress please! Just know that you are cared for and you are heard here!
lj

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hopefully it is just going to take some time to feel more comfortable being here again @Former-Member There are so many people here that I care for and value as both people and as supports - and that I 'like' to support back. I love 'having fun' in the Octagonal room - does get out of hand sometimes - but in a good way lol I really just want to have all that back - and for it to feel easy and safe again. I hope this does happen over time!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@utopia how was your day? Did you enjoy the Art festival?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7. Was great. The art styles were all different. Small wall art to giant wall art. Yhis isthe third yeat iit's been on - but the first time I've gone. By the end of the festival there will be 27 new images.
I just woke up from a 4 hour nap. Lol. Not sure when it goes from a map to a sleep.
I hope your day was good.
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