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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

its hard to explain @Shaz51 its hard to describe.

kind of sticking my nose into thing where they arent wanted or annoying people, and not being helpful

yes @Mazarita i still dont know what to do

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

do you think im a pest @Zoe7

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Popping past to say hi to all in the party corner - hope it's been a good day for you all. @Zoe7 skimmed through a little - sounds like you've done somethinf big today. Hugs and congratulations on getting through it

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

ohhh yes my sister @Zoe7, I will be watching MaFs

No my @Former-Member, my sister , you are not a pest , you are Beautiful

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member I echo what @Mazarita has said. It is important to know one's own limitations and take a step back on occasions for one's own self-care. It is also important to be able to recognise boundaries and be mindful when they are becoming blurred. Sometimes less is more - especially when dealing with the emotions and vulnerabilities of others. Everyone has their own challenges on here and it is a balancing act for most in regards to giving and seeking support. This balance may often seem difficult to attain but is necessary for a community like ours to support each other and function effectively. What you do need to consider is your own level of engagement in relation to that of other members. Being able to 'read' a situation and decide how much (or how little) support is needed does come with both knowledge and experience - and we don't always get it right - but that is ok - we all continue to learn! Ultimately any decisions you make have to be yours and yours alone - but make that decision based on what YOU are comfortable with. Instead of leaving altogether some things that you may wish to consider are limiting the amount of threads that you post on, setting aside designated time frames for interaction on the forum, understanding the need for people to have their own space at times as well as connecting on the forum and being mindful when a conversation has begun to lead in a direction that may upset or 'trigger' you and take appropriate action for yourself to care for your own needs - if this means disengaging from the conversation then it is important that is what you do for your own self-care. Remember that everyone on the forum is here because we are dealing with MI in some shape or form and we all seek support at some stage - some more so than others - but that does mean that not everyone is always available to provide support all the time. WE DO WHAT WE CAN, WHEN WE CAN - please remember this because it really is important for not only your own self-care but also for caring for others. Whatever decision you make has to be the right decision for you - and 'the forum' will be here for you - whatever that decision is.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi my bear buddy @CheerBear Yes - it has been a REALLY big day - still haven't slept but still on my feet - just!!! Big hugs back to you - hope you can come back later for a catch up again.

Zoe

(ps you better bring some more gelato - I think I ate the last tub - whoops, sorry!!!!)

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

ok thanks @Zoe7@Shaz51@Mazarita

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Go you @Zoe7, in so so so many ways 💛

Oh dear re the gelato! I'll see what I can do... The freezer mustn't be empty for too long!

I heard MaFS and ACA - it scares me a lot. I have few brain cells left to spare. But maybe I can "roam" in the background 😉

💓

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Do you still want to be my guardian butterfly @Zoe7 or would you like me to stop that?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member That is entirely YOUR decision little monster

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