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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Gp snd study today @Former-Member

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Former-Member I am so pleased that your sleep is getting better. Mine is still up and down - over the last couple of weeks it seems that the pattern has become no sleep at all one night then catch up the next night. It is ok for now to get through each day and not get too anxious when I can't sleep - but it does also allow too much time to be alone and 'think' too much. Hopefully I can start to find a better balance soon. I see the psychiatrist again this week and this will be the first thing I tell her about.

I hope there a is some light in your day today @Former-Member

...hope this puts a smile on your face

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Zoe7

The flowers are really beautiful. I Think I've mastered alone and think too much time :face_with_rolling_eyes:. Hopefully your appointment this week will be more gentle. I'm trying hard for balance at the moment. The last few weeks were amongst the toughest in my life to get through. Let's hope this week is much more gentle for both of us.

sending hugs 💜🤗

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Morning everyone .... 🤗💕

So well done @Zoe7 ❣.... I had to do a lot of sorting out in my mind to work out how to tackle my MIL in my early years .... and trial and error in terms of creating boundaries around her behaviours that were invasive.

It makes a big difference to your sense of inner peace if you are dealing with people who are too full-on ......

Hi @Former-Member .... hope it's a calmer week for you too.

Hope @Adge does join us here ..... 😊👋

Take care @Former-Member.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Oops .... hi @utopia too ..... 🤗💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Faith-and-Hope I am getting much better at talking to my mum about what I am prepared to do and not do. It definitely is not easy but every time I do it I feel a little less anxious about the next time - and I now there will always be a next time!!!

How are you doing atm?

Zoe

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Brilliantly done @Zoe7. I'm glad you set the boundaries before hand and then stuck with them through the trip. Not easy - as she'll keep trying. But eventually she will learn. And she was on time!!!.
I went to the dental hospital in the large town this morning. Had student dentist do my check up. Took 45 minutes. Lol. So next month we start fixing the old loose fillings and putting new fillings in & extract one wisdom tooth. So glad after all these years I'm finally at the top of the waiting list.
Then took extremely grumpy 14 year old to the shops. Mope mope mope. Lol.
I got him 2 long sleeve tshirts. 1 check shirt. 1 tracky pants & a great zip up jumper - with thick wool lining inside. Should be good for winter. First time I've had to buy his clothes in the mens section instead of the boys department. Lol.
Feeling a bit more up. Really trying to push myself to 'have a good day' - if you know what I mean.
My best friend wants me to come over for dinner. That's too much for me. So I might popover and chat for an hour w8th her soon. Think that will be enough.
Hope your day goes well.♥♥♥
Hello @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member. Hope you are all well

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @utopia im glad your feeling abit more up today. Im very stressed but im ok
Hopefully your day will continue to remain good ❤❤

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@utopia That is really great news about the dentist

I laughed when I read about you having to buy clothes from the men's section for your boy for the first time. I had to get some new running shoes (definitely not for running atm though) and I usually buy them from the junior section. The boys shoes fit better than the small womens and they are cheaper lol

A chat for an hour or so seems like a really good compromise - you'll still see your friend, have some 'human' adult interaction and then can leave when you feel like you need to. Great idea @utopia - and you get to see her little girl too and that always seems to make you happy!

I fell asleep again on the couch this morning - so 11 and a half hours + another 3 on top of that. I am still really tired so I am hoping that I can get to sleep early tonight also. The wind has finally stopped here and that is making a huge difference.

I am going to take it day by day atm - may be on the forum, may not - see how the days go - I know it will still be here - and so will you - when I have the energy to log on.

Even when I am not around you are always in my thoughts my friend - you do mean the world to me and it is nice to hear you are feeling a little more up today even if you still aren't travelling too well overall.

Sending you lots of hugs and all my love

Zoe

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thank you so much @Zoe7. That means a lot. Yes - human adult interactions and 5 year old interaction. An hr will be plenty. Lol.
I actually watched MaFS last night and I'll be watching again tonight. I won't give anything away - but let me just say that Nadine (is that her name?) has seen the light about Anthony. Watch it when you are up to it. So worth the wait just for that laugh alone.
I'll check in from time to time to see how you are going. If you want to talk - I'm here. If you don't - I'll be nearby scratching Tobys ear.
Love and support to you. You are doing really well in looking after yourself the best you can. Big hugs. ♥♥♥♥♥
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