Am Not Coping

I have been here a year now @Zoe7 ... and I am learning that sometimes there seems to be a pattern of calms and then storms ... probably a lot like life really, so in that way the forums are a bit of a microcosm.

The tougher times can coincide a bit for a few people. Sometimes it will be to do with dates, but often it's just circumstantial it seems.

Thanks, @Zoe7

I was having two good days in a row and starting to feel hopeful. Now I feel out of sorts again. But first light will arrive soon and that will bring a shift.

@Faith-and-Hope

I've been having a similar conversation over the last week with NikNik - especially in regards to the seemingly increase in 'triggering' content and some stuff around the community guidelines. I did spend quite a bit of time last week (when I was able to) skimming through various threads. It certainly does seem like there are quite a few people 'on edge' at the moment (me included). It also seems like there are a lot of new members with similar 'issues' and that is bringing out similar issues in others.

@Faith-and-Hope

@Mazarita oh the light - that is when I will be able to get some sleep hopefully!

@Zoe7, dawn is when I can sometimes fallen asleep, if I've gone past my boundaries and stayed up all night. Looks like that will be the way of it tonight. I sometimes get stuck in the sleeplessness though and have been known to stay awake all the next day sometimes. I suffer for that in days following. Relating to your earlier post, I haven't thought about disconnect but I find the forum busy as Bourke Street these days and only read a fraction of the posts. Also, you may be more sensitive to some of these nuances.

I am exactly the same with sleep. If I stay up all night I am usually awake all day as well - and then totally exhausted for a couple of days after.

The forum really is super busy atm. I am trying to stick here and not really divert my attention too much while I am struggling a bit. it has seemed to be really intense on certain threads lately - maybe I am just noticing that more because I have participated in discussions on those threads @Mazarita

Yes @Zoe7 .... there is a bit of a balance to learning how much can safely be posted here, and not everyone copes so well. Across this last year there have been times when someone really struggling has triggered others, but the mods have been quick to step in and define what belongs with crisis care, which is beyond the scope of these forums.

I know when I posted about my WH on the Carer's forum I was aware that the content may have been triggering for someone with an e.d., or distressing to other families struggling with a family member in crisis with it .... and I am learning that it is helpful to make a direct statement about content as a part of the thread's subject title, at least I stated clearly in the first sentence that that was what the thread was about.

There are some things I don't read on here, because as an empath I have limits as to how much I can take on in terms of emotional content.

@Zoe7 .... I was pleased to read tonight that you are learning to set boundaries on family members who don't respect yours .... I had to do that with in-laws early in my marriage .... and it's the same here on the forums. It is important to tell others when you have reached a limit and are stepping back for a bit, if it's happening on a thread you frequent the most,or simply avoiding threads that have uncomfortable content for you.

If the content is inappropriate to the nature of the thread, you can return-email on a notification and notify the mod on shift. They are very good at stepping in.

That is actually why this discussion began. I notified of inappropriate content 3 times one night before a post was removed. Luckily enough there were not many people around that could have seen it. It was then followed by a worse post the next day which was removed very quickly.

I certainly have taken a step back from most discussions for my own self-protection lately @Faith-and-Hope and stopped notifications from a lot of threads also for now.

@Faith-and-Hope, @Zoe7 I'm not happy when peoples' personal way of speaking and being, occupation and aspirations, are in roundabout ways derided. Sorry, feeling bleurgh. Will come out of it. Just opened up the glass doors so the dawn can come in when it arrives.

They are wise self-protection strategies @Zoe7 .... well done, if I haven't said so already.

I suggested the Carer's forum to you last week. Their social threads are much calmer generally, because they are usually support people for mi sufferers rather than being the sufferer themself, but it's not always the case .... some Carer's struggle with their own mi issues, and even these are on a spectrum, and sometimes quite temporary and situational to the current circumstances in their life.

The more intense Carer threads tend to be clearly marked in their subject titles, and only others experiencing that sort of struggle tend to go on them, and then they fall quiet once a crisis for that family has passed, and become active again for the next one. It's a different pattern of reaching for support.

Learning the patterns here is harder, and the waves can be bigger, but then there is a lot to be learned from more experienced people.