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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope @Snowie @Owlunar Not much the dentist can do. There are no cavaties or abscesses - some wear and tear but nothing severe. The pain is sensitivity that has developed so new toothpaste to try to help with that. Will be a couple of days before I know if that is working so putting up with the pain for now

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hoping the new toothpaste can help @Zoe7

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Re: Am Not Coping

Visited Mum on the way home from the dentist and dropped off the dog food I had for her. Told her not to worry about anything - just call me and I will do whatever she needs. She started to cry - she is really finding it hard not being able to do anything. I gave her a massive hug and told her all she needs to do is recover and we have got her - anything she needs. I will go back on Wednesday, visit the chemist for her and get whatever groceries she needs. I know she is sad about not being able to do anything for christmas but we do not care - we just want her better - that is the only present we need.

I have to pick up Cat's chemo meds on Wednesday also, visit one more shop to get what I need for my Dad, do some grocery shopping for myself and get some of my own meds. I will do all that in the morning before I go to my parents' place so I can begin some of the gardening for them too. It will take more than a few days but I can make a start. Tobes will love running around their backyard and playing with one of their dogs but will also no doubt try to help.

I will of course be back up there for christmas day and then also my Mum's birthday so a lot of trips this coming week. Next week I will try to get all the gardening finished for my Mum then I can stop and rest myself. It is important for me to do the work for Mum as I know it is something she is really upset about - she used to have such a beautiful garden but with her hip problems and now this fracture she has not been able to do anything for months - it is something I can do for her to lift her spirits ...even if it is just a little.

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You are so good to your mum @Zoe7 I am sure she appreciates everything you do for her.

I hope you can take some time for yourself too hun.

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Will do tomorrow @Snowie Having that jammies day I was going to have today 👍

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Sounds like a good idea @Zoe7

I can imagine you and Tobes cuddled up on the couch together! 💜🐶

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👋💕💕 @Zoe7 @Snowie

In response to: Am Not Coping

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Sorry to read about toothache @Zoe7 . Hope you feel better soon. You're a marvel for helping your parents. Do you know if @WIP is ok? I don't feel like trying anymore & I don't seem to care about anything much. I spoke to SANE counsellor today who had lived experience and was so generous & empathetic (which ultimately makes me feel more unworthy). Also spoke to psychiatrist who has added 2 more medications I've had in the past which I'll start tonight. So fortunate to have all this support, but I really still want to give up. Nothing seems to sufficiently motivate me to get better which really is an outrageous statement... but if you feel like you're failing everyone it makes it hard to want to keep going for them. How do others go with that? If you can't ever get sufficiently better & everything is an effort,what are your options?! It's also hard when nothing anyone says or does lifts you - depression is a crappy disease. However, what about those who have awful things said or done who can survive it with grace? That's an amazing spirit!

You guys are incredible the way you care for each other whilst facing your own challenges no doubt. You have my utmost respect & I really wish I could be like you. @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Snowie @Owlunar @Maggie

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Moderator @Former-Member thanks for your support. Seems like a tough job - do moderators have to check every post every minute?! Do you have any lived experience/comments about laziness & unwillingness to try despite or perhaps because of a supportive family? I am disgusted with myself - but not enough to change my bad habits made worse by the last decade of bereavements & depressoon.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Sounds like there is a whole lot of grief wrapped up in the mix too @Sam3. Has grief counselling been part of your support ? That certainly knocks the motivation out of most people for a while, and if it's multiple bereavements then it's a compound grief .....

Its good to see you here.

Hi @Zoe7. Have you tried the new toothpaste yet ?

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