Am Not Coping

hey @Former-Member little sunflower

im glad your doing better @utopia

Ok @utopia and @Former-Member Part 2 of the update:

As soon as I met the psychiatrist I was instantly at ease with her. She was really lovely - friendly, down to earth and affable. That was a good start.

As you suggested @utopia it started out with the general questions - family, work etc.

Then instantly it was about the 'issues' - I did not expect it and I quickly went into 'shutdown' mode and became really distressed. She did recognise that straight away and pukked back a bit. I asked what she had been given - I thought she had more details than she actually had - that stressed me out even more. She tried to guide me into saying more but I just couldn't get the words out most times.

So what she does know - from what I could get out with her help is:

she knows a bit about my relationship with members of my family - including all the stuff with my Dad - how that started, why it happened, when it stopped and how I had confronted him about it.

She also knows a little about my childhood and my long-term relationship - and that both of these involve significant trauma - but she doesn't know any specific details or the extent of it.

I also told her briefly about my Nan and Pop - my nan being the closest relative I have had and about finding pop when he passed away.

We touched briefly on work and the issues around working where I grew up and she asked if that was difficult for me - I told her about my anxiety driving there and how much I missed the kids and that is where I left it.

She asked when I got sick and when the last time I was at work was.

She agreed with my GP on diagnosis and not being ready to return to work yet in any capacity. She said I will need a few more months of and I told her I had been off for 6 months now already. She replied with 'I think you will need at least another 6 months off'. That really hit me and I am struggling with it. I mentioned this to my GP today and I said I can't be away that much longer. She agrees with the psychiatrist that it is a long term thing and that we can revisit the time frame later but there is a lot to deal with and it will take time. She is very aware that I have never dealt with any of this and definitely have never talked about it - therefore she believes that the 6 months is probably realistic in view of the enormity of what I am dealing with now.

My meds have been increased in the morning and one more added - this is likely to make me really tired for a while until I get used to the changes again - my concern is the same as all the other times - when I am tired I can't do anything and get really low.

the psychiatrist did mention hospital - she did want me to go in to help to get the meds right - of course I said NO. She does understand that I can't leave my babies and there is no-one to look after them so she was ok with this as long as my GP and I continue the regular visits to monitor how I am going.

I think that is just about all of it - if I have left anything out I will add it in later.

I go back in two weeks...

That's great to hear @utopia 🙂 I felt for you heaps this week. My day has been still and quiet which was perfect for today thanks. Outing with the littles tomorrow and they all want to watch the football this week (ugh!). My plans are to just get through it I think haha. What about you?

ok so you kinda got alot of things out in the open @Zoe7 that is good then you can work forwad obviously not all at once but slowly and surely. its awesome that you feel at ease with her that will really help you out. Fantastic.

my psychiatrsit sauggested the same thing to go to the hospital but i said no and then said weekly gp appointments then so i think thats pretty standard when we are at a certain level of MI.

two weeks is pretty good, youll be able to see if the meds are starting to work even just slightly though some take forever to kick in. which is abit of a pain but if they get it right it can really help. pyschiatrst are really good at working on meds and often dont take too long to get the right ones for you so hopefull when these kick in they will be the right ones for you.

im sorry ive forgotten what were your diagnoses...?

maybe instead of fihgting when your tired you could jsut rela and watch a movie or you favourite tv show or read a book or something thats quiet that you enjoy so that its not taking you much effort but still at the same time you know your doing something.. if that makes sense?

yep i agree with @utopia just think 6 months where you could be and what you can be doing, just focus on getting better for now

can i change my name @utopia is that even possible

and yes we will all be right here to help you along @Zoe7 i dont care how much of a bad im having jsut helping and talking to you and knowing your ok is well worth coming on here