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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Snowie

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

My mum fractured her femur last year @Zoe7 and it took her ages to get back to health again. She’s since moved in with my sister and family where she is waited on hand and foot....living the good life!

It’s hard with elderly parents when you need to be assertive with them. Not an easy change of roles.

Last day coming up...well done Zoe!!!

❤️💚❤️

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hey @Zoe7 how are things with you thesedays? You must be glad school has finished?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Eve7 sorry to read about your mum but good that your sister can look after her.

Has anyone on this forum become too dependent on others in the long term? When I've been unwell over the last decade my husband has done so much & now I do so little (though I manage to do a basic job 4 days per week). Has anyone got any encouragement or advice to overcome this learned helplessness please? It's scary and not expected of me to do more & I know it's not helping me but I can't seem to overcome my fear atm. Thanks

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yes one more day @Eve7 and I am very much looking forward to the break. It certainly has been one hell of a year.

Absolutely had to put my foot down with Mum but I have gotten much better at that over the last couple of years. I do not let her speak to me the way she used to nor let her get away with flippant remarks that hurt - and I think our relationship has really improved as a result. I do not always feel like a little child around her anymore or worried what she will say or do because I will stand up for myself and call her out on her behaviour. It is never easy thoughbut right now she needs the help and I am more than happy to provide that. Dad is struggling too - he is also getting older and needs help with some things. Luckily he has a friend that is younger that helps a lot - especially with the horses so that is good.

@Sam3 One more day for me the on holidays ...cannot wait 👍

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Gosh well done @Zoe7 . My mother says the most hurtful things to me (and others) and I just take it as always.

No matter what I do it’s wrong and she has to correct me every time. I won’t start and bore you with it all but well done to you!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It took me a long time to be able to deal with my Mum @Eve7 but it does help now to be able to stand up to her. Don't get me wrong - she is not a vicious person but she doesn't realise most of the time when she is being hurtful. She also 'plays the victim' a lot and it gets frustrating but letting her know that I won't put up with it has helped gradually over the years. It is not something that has changed overnight but I do feel more confident to call her out and stand up for myself now.

Making the little changes over time help. Challenging those that continue to hurt us with their words can feel very scary in the beginning but over time it gets easier. I hope you can find a way to do the same in time Hon

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Zoe7 My mum isn’t cruel either just cutting with her comments. I tend to let people walk over me and just accept being put down.

That’s partly how I crashed earlier this year when someone at work just kept putting me down publicly. My psych keeps telling me to put it on workcover but I just can’t face the fallout. Now that person at work is bending over backwards to support me. It’s quite sickening but I just can’t confront people.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Maybe this person at work has seen the error of their ways and is supporting you now becuse they feel they have to make it up to you in a way. It is hard though when the cause of the issue suddenly switches @Eve7 Be careful because a leapard doesn't change it's spots overnight but maybe there is some personal growth on their part also. You deserve to feel safe at your work too Hon

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I’m moving to another area when I return. I’ll be doing recruitment and training @Zoe7
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