Am Not Coping

Hello @Faith-and-Hope

Hope you get some rest in between cleaning, sending you love x

@Zoe7 👋💞

@Lee82 👋🌷

@Snowie 👋🌸

and all following along 👋

Thank you @Anastasia 💞

Been a very big day @Faith-and-Hope @Anastasia @Lee82 @Snowie @Owlunar @Sans911 @Emelia8 @Adge @greenpea and everyone else passing through.

We met our new classes today and gave out reports - it was chaos for a while with things being delivered at last minute and having to put everything together - but we got through it.

Also had my pdoc appointment which went well. She has increased one of my night meds to try to help with the nightmares - just have to be careful of the side effects which I usually have with any increase in these particular meds. Talked also about people in my life that present one thing to the world but continue to be coniving and deliberately hurtful and think that is okay ... @Faith-and-Hope I am sure you understand that completely. When it comes down to it those people do not really matter to me and I am better off without them - a revelation maybe but it has been coming for a long time. I need (and deserve) those in my life that truly care and do not profess to on one hand then dig the kni*fe in with the other - spent too much of my life dealing with those kind of people and I honestly do not need them nor is my life enriched having them in it in any way, shape or form. So going forward I am happy to shut those people out - not for reasons I would usually do that (because I find it too hard and too emotionally difficult to engage ongoing or that getting too close to people has always ended in heartache) but for my own self esteem and wellbeing. So it was a BIG session but I actually feel lighter from it. My pdoc said she could not believe how far I have come from the first time she met me and for the first time I actually agreed with her ...feels good to look back and to see that progress too. That is not to say that life is still not difficult nor is it going to be a bed of roses but knowing that I have 'survived' and am making good progress still is heartening.

All in all - I got through the mayhem of today and can look forward to the next week being done so I can rest and recuperate - then begin to look forward again with more hope than I have had for a long time 👍

Another day down hun @Zoe7 You are almost there.

So glad you appt. with your pdoc went well. You have come such a long way hun, you should be proud of yourself.

Thank you so much @Snowie Still some way to go but getting there - and recognising that is important ...you too have come a long way Hon so please give yourself credit for that

Oh @Zoe7 I am so proud. Your hard work and dedication and actions are paying off. I feel like the Mumma bear watching her cub sprout wings. I know that sounds silly but I can feel the bounce in your step with every word. So, so, so happy. The Universe is taking care of you and my boy today!! I think I will sleep tonight 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂💜🐕🐈💜

I hope you do sleep well tonight @Anastasia - first night on increased meds for me so hoping the same.

Haha ...Mumma bear makes it sound like you are sooooo much older but I get what you mean and am happy for you to have all those good feelings if my post helps with that

Hi @Zoe7

That sound like really good news - and I agree - you have come a long way. I have noticed this in your writing and how long could it be now since we met here - 4 years - give or take - and it has been a long hard journey for you and worthwhile.

We do need to extricate ourselves from toxic influences in our lives - I no longer have any part in the lives of my siblings - they are both - in different ways - vexatious spirits and I do not need them.

True - life is not a bed of roses - the difficulties in our lives to give us resilience though and this is what we build upon through the shadows and hard yards - sorting out the chaff from the grain people in our lives and working on the good and discarding the unimportant esteem-destructors - these people we can live without

And yes - you deserve it - we all deserve it - we need our lives to be as free of conflict as possible - and you have been working hard toward this realisation and I wish you the best

Congratulations

Dec

Hoping you got some more sleep last night @Zoe7 and today is kind to you.

@Faith-and-Hope 💜💜

I didn't see a tag for your post above yesterday @Zoe7 ..... I am so proud of you ❣️ That is sounding really healthy, and s2bx's antics might have helped get you there ...... lol ..... seems he's good for somethin' 😂

I am looking forward to you getting through the rest of the term and taking a good big break ..... not that you won't find things to fill it with, and that is necessary ..... but filling it with you-stuff will

be good for you.

I agree @Snowie ...... you have come so far and I am proud of

you ❣️ That inner work is so important for all of us .... keep swimming Hon 🐠🐠🐠