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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Your not having the best time of things are you 😥 @Zoe7
I hope on monday you can get all your appointments sorted out properly so its one less thing to worry about.
Is Toby unwell too or his his just a checkup at the vets? Will you have more of a direction to go with on Tuesday for Cat?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Tobes needs his teeth cleaned but also likely his back tooth out @outlander so that is stressful as it is a big tooth and needs a little extra time under anaesthetic.

Tuesday will give me a bit more of an idea on Cat - it wasn't her usual vet today so she needed to read the notes. Hopefully there are still some treatment options as we have caught it early but the likelihood is it will be palliative to keep her comfortable and pain free - who knows though ...maybe that miracle will occur - we are certainly due for some good luck.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for some good luck @Zoe7 you could really use some about now.
🤞🤞🤞🤞

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Certainly could @outlander

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

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@Zoe7

Sorry to hear that. Its heartbreaking.

My cat is a worry at the moment, but he is an old man and lived a good life. Been on meds for nearly 2 years. Not eating. Lost weight. The vet has suggested scan.

Sad to say I know how you feel.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

So sorry you know what it is like @Appleblossom My little girl is 11 so anything from here on is a bonus. I feel guilty that my sister was looking after my babies when hers was so sick and she didnt know. I know that I shouldn't because she didn't know but the poor little man was only 10 months old and it is so unfair

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

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Unfair and Unexpected. There is only so much anybody can do.

Take Care of you too. No time for beat up.

Cheers Bella

@Zoe7

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yes there is @Appleblossom and they did all they could possibly do for the little man - he was just too sick. Thank goodness she still has her dog because he is her world as well and will keep her going. I know I will have to tell her about Cat soon but that can wait a few days until I know more from my vet myself. Just a really shitty time for everyone and I still need to deal with my own medical issues - that will take time to have more tests and work through as well.... never ends hey!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

My vet has said his thyroid levels are fine now, but the kidney is packing up and he may have abdominal lump. Just doing the right thing.

My son loves visiting him, but is also preparing inwardly to let go. Talking about what I will do when he dies etc. For us that is good and healthy, as the other deaths have been more sudden and shocking so it is good to have conversations that are not as distressing, but facing natural life and death, and about having a best outcome. This cat was well loved by all my students and neighbours, and us, so truly had a blessed life. He is also stubborn and hanging on. Sad to feel his bones.

Hugs Bella Look after your health needs too.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

My previous cat got very sick very quickly so I could see the decline in her. It was heartbreaking to see but she was in no pain. I felt I had time to prepare with her just as I will have with my little girl now too. It is tragic what has happened to my sister and her cat. Her previous cat died just over a year ago and she too went downhill in a matter of days. I wish so much that it was different for my sister - I still cannot believe she has lost her baby.

I won't know more before I see my GP on Thursday @Appleblossom but do know I need both heart and lung tests as neither were working well during the operation. I know they had to keep me under and breathing for an additional 4 hours. I thought I was seeing things when I woke up 5 hours after I went in.

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