Am Not Coping

Thanks @Zoe7 , you make me blush. 😊

Yes I too hope the meds kick in a little better before you see your pdoc on Wednesday.

Its still 11 days before I leave on my family visit, so plenty of time yet in which to get myself organised. Today was 2 appointments for hubby in town. One of which was his psychiatrist. He has increased his ADs again, although I dont expect that will help his temper too much .. sadly. Had hoped to get to a coffee shop in between hubbys two appointments, but of course the first one was running late, which left not enough time for a casual cuppa. But after his psych apt I dropped him off to have a nice lunch at a cafe opposite a supermarket. So he had lunch while I did our weekly grocery shop. Glad thats done anyway. But it was a hectic morning and early afternoon, not just the 2 apts and groceries, but also a few other things he wanted to do. But all done now. I can now work on other things I need to organise before I leave for my 6 days away. I leave on the train out of my local town a bit after midnight on the night of Monday week. I expect I will still be around most days, but not as much at daytimes, while I'm away. I should have wifi access or mobile data. And its a long, 12 hour, train trip ... so I will be bored silly and no doubt awfully tired when I finally arrive in my old home town. The old red-eye train trip. But my return trip will require an overnighter in the city as the connections do not fit in as well on the return journey from where I'm coming from. Essentially I will still be around, as and when I can. So I will appreciate a check in from you, and others, while I'm away.

But ... still much to organise before I go anywhere. More hubby medical appointments next week, but thankfully a gap on the week I'm away. Hence my small window of opportunity. I am managing to put things in place for while I am away, so looking good so far. There are a number of appointments for me I have been putting off (GP for MHCP review, Skin cancer clinic for annual check, Dentist for long overdue checkup). And I promised myself I would get a haircut once I reached my big 60th birthday. Nope that hasnt happened! I thought I would get it styled or updated somehow, rather than just long straight hair with a fringe I trim myself. But that will have to wait too. One thing I do want to do before I go away is to book Holly in and get her in to the vets for her annual checkup and vaccinations. That will have to be next week.

I'm glad to hear your Mum kindly loaned you some money to tide you over until your next payday. Have you made any apts for Toby with your vet yet? I know that was one of the things you needed to get done.

Sherry

I thought you were going this coming week so my mistake @Former-Member Glad you got to all your hubby's appointments today and also got the grocery shopping done. You have a lot to do next week as well so hope it all goes well for you Hon

I haven't booked in Toby and Cat yet - I need to work the extra days for a couple of weeks before I will get paid for them. Then I can afford to take them both to the vet, pay my mum back and hopefully cover my credit card debt. Have been living off that this fortnight so the extra money will certainly help me get back on track a little. Now that I have finished DBT I will have to pay for pdoc appointments though - so more outgoing that I really cannot afford just yet. I need these appointments though so it is a no-win situation right now - all adding to the stress in my life ...I know you get how that feels

I will look out for you over the next couple of weeks but won't be here much myself - still too hard and with F&H leaving as well it is going to be just that little bit harder. I am so grateful to have your support - and that of others here - feel very much like I will need it. Still having leaving thoughts but they are a little less than they were ...time is very much needed to work out where I fit again and if in-fact I can find my voice again.

Hi @Former-Member @Bunniekins You are both always so caring to many posters all over the forums, despite carrying a load. It is lovely just having you around.

@Zoe7

FInding one's voice is often ongoing, as refining what we want to say, to fit the best need and audience can be a meandering experience over time. I spent this morning very quiet cos I knew I had an appointment at 2 which would demand a lot of free and direct comminicating. I feel am getting through to people who need to hear, or who can help me get the message out.

Zoe I dont think you realise how important you have been for me, even when we dont always directly talk. It comes out in the aptness of what you say. Feeling like I have a grown up to talk to etc ...

You have come so far to keep steady with the part-time teaching and now full-time. You Go Girl/Woman/Teach!

Many hugs to help you get through this next busy at school period.

.

@Appleblossom 😄 Thank you Appleblossom that is a very nice thing to hear I really appreciate it xxx

Hi @Former-Member I’m glad you’ve got your trip booked. It will be good for you to see your parents. And a much needed break.

So good you got hubbys appts done tiday.

I’m sorry about not replying earlier. Just not doing so great. ❤️❤️

Hi @Zoe7 I get what you mean about working to pay for things. It’s not easy.

I hope you’re doing better.

Sorry @Former-Member @Zoe7 haven’t read your posts the past few days.

But it doesn’t mean I’m not supporting you. I do care. ❤️❤️

Yes @Bunniekins I agree with you, it was lovely of Appleblossom, and I too appreciate that she said what she did. So a big thank you from me too @Appleblossom .

Sherry 🌺😊💜

That is very kind of you to say @Appleblossom Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say and that certainly has been the way this last few weeks - and when I do I get shut down which has just added to the feeling of worthlessness. I know you and others here get that and it really does help to have you and others around that do get it.

I feel much the same - that although we don't talk often it is genuine affection and care that does bring us together when we do. I also know that in you I am thought of and that brings comfort also. We have spent many times here talking frankly about things we have needed to and that always endears me to you. Sometimes it is the simple things that connect people and sometimes it is at a higher level - that is where I see our connection and am grateful for that

Not a problem at all @BlueBay , you have no cause for needing to apologise. I know its been rough for you over the past few days. You always support a large number of us whenever you can, and that is enough. Thank you for being you.

Sherry 💕

Not really doing better but more getting through @BlueBay so I suppose that is a positive. Yes we both know how hard it is when money is an issue

Sorry @Zoe7 you’re not doing better.