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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

❤ @Zoe7

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Hugs @Zoe7

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Re: Am Not Coping

Not tagging anyone...

I have tried tonight to connect again but feeling the weight of this situation again. I have taken a back seat on here to try to let things settle but all that has done is make me more upset that I was the one left feeling isolated because of the actions of another.

What was said was hurtful, aggressive and insensitive. I chose to share a very personal interaction and commented further how much I was struggling with both that and life in general. The response was exactly what I had just mentioned my mother always does to me – to turn that around on herself and make herself the centre of whatever was going on – then try to blame me for how she was feeling. That is not okay and definitely not deserved in any way, shape or form.

This has not just affected me but many who read it as well. To all those people I want to thank you for your support, your kind words and your compassion. Unfortunately in the space I am in this has had a significant impact on me and I don’t know how to change that at present.

I have tried tonight but knowing I cannot give what I usually do is making me feel uncomfortable being here. This I fear is going to be a long process to change and I expect a lot of work off forum to do so.

I am asking everyone here to look after each other, build the community back up through support for each other and share the love and care that I know still exists here. Do not let one attack be so pervasive that this community cannot pull together for each other. That is the greatest gift you could all give me here.

My head and my heart still feel broken and I cannot say if/when that will change. Some things there are just no coming back from when they hurt so much and this has certainly brought up a lot of those feelings again. Words – especially here – matter and they can cause untold damage.

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@Zoe7 ❤️💕

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I am so sorry @Zoe7 and I deeply regret that I have no words to make a difference. Please take care.

💔😢

Sherry

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Yes, words definitely matter to those who are vulnerable, especially in this space @Zoe7. I think I understand what you are referring to, and your comeback was dignified and respectful. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt, and I certainly felt the sting of it. Please take care of yourself, because you're important to me and your presence & words to me matter a great deal. Hugs and hugs ❤️ 💜 💙 💜

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Hi everyone, just floating through and seeing the wonderful support here.

As we know, online spaces can be hard when communicating and without knowing what is going on for an individual in a moment, words without tone, body language etc can be easily misunderstood. If you ever feel unsure on how to address any conflict that might be happening, have a read over 'addressing confllict'. Meanwhile, always know that you can contact moderators for support or to raise any concern team@saneforums.org

💙

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Yes - I know the day is wrong but the pic says so much

Hi @Zoe7

I read back a little on the thread - I don't know what happened but I am sending my love and support - I had to take a little time out with physical health issues so I missed it but the important thing is that I know you have had it tough lately and been hurt and I understand

About your mother needing to make everything about her - my mother couldn't be upset - pity about that - other people could be but not her - the situation has to be different but it does hurt when you need something from your mother and it's not there

I hear you

I'm glad you are taking time to heal - and see my thoughts - the best I can

Dec

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@Zoe7 Your sensitivity makes you very good at what you do. The world needs more of it. Dont lose it.

I see your strength as well. Your resilience is growing.

Hugs

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Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 - I'm hoping that your work day is giving you some reprieve from what is happening in your heart & mind, and here. Thinking of you, sitting & waiting in this place when time heals. 💗
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