Am Not Coping

💕 @Bunniekins

Managed to get back to sleep on couch island @Faith-and-Hope @Bunniekins Hope you managed some more sleep F&H and your walk was good little pea

Have my panel meeting today and still have some reading to do. There are several nominations in each category that we have to give awards for. I have had a quick look at the nominations and it is going to be very hard to decide on several of them. So glad there are a few of us together deciding as I certainly cannot make the decisions my self/

Just put the tv on and have seen that Notre Dame in Paris has burnt down - such a tragedy

Good morning Hon - hope you dozed off for a few more hours @Faith-and-Hope

Morning @Zoe7

I have just received a newsfeed notice in my iPad (connected to family tech link) sting something about the spire on Notre Dame crumbling ..... didn’t realise it was a fire until now 😕 ..... that church was somewhere around 1000 years old.

I am glad you got back to sleep for a while, and I am sure you will do just fine with the nominations, being part of a selection team ..... and look at you go ..... it’s all a form of socialising ❣️

I didn’t get back to sleep. Will need to nap later today, but my grief feelings had risen to the surface again and I needed to do something with that.

I downloaded internet images of my old house that we had built - flood damaged one - from when it was restored and sold, via the real estate site. I have also done the same with images of the house we are moving out of, from the time we bought it, while the images are still there and I can do that.

At least I have pictures. They don’t have our stuff in them, including my garden gallery wall I was building, but I think I will make collages out of them with artwork, and hang them here, where I haven’t found a sense of home. I can hang my homes on the wall.

It’s more than that, of course ..... but you know that. It’s a feeling of having lost my marriage, my home, and my family are sitting precariously atop the rubble ..... I have to find things like this that I can do to help process the horrible feelings, and try to focus on the positives that are here along with all the crap.

I will head off to the post office early, as soon as it opens, while D3 is still at home so I don’t have to take D2 ..... and it’s counsellor day today, so that will be next. Wonder if I will fall asleep in the team and wake up at some surprise location .... lol

Oh Hon I don't know what to say - so much going on for you and it is horrible knowing you are going through all this I do think it is a great idea printing out photos of your old houses - so much time and effort put in to making them your home - and that for your family. Sometimes memories are all we have so it is a good thing that you can also have some pictures to refer to.

You have so many losses to deal with but you do still have your family - it may be all over the place with many obstacles to keeping it together but you have been doing that and you should be so proud of everything you have done to keep it together. I do know it feels like it is all falling apart but just look at how well D3 and S2 are going with your encouragement - they have both taken some major steps this year - saying at uni and actually doing the work is massive and both of then have shown recently that they can prioritise their work when need be. That I have no doubt is down to your example and your encouragement - be proud of that Hon because you really should be.

I also know you have several family members with different issues that you are all faced with but apart from Mr. you all are still relatively healthy and more importantly are still close - that may not be as a family unit but you work very hard to let all your babay dragons that they are loved and you are there for them.

I suspect the upcoming counsellor session is filling you will a lot of thoughts and bringin up so much for you - theses sessions tend to do that but in saying that I am also happy that you have found this counsellor as you seem to be able to open up extremely well to her and are forming a good relationship with her - that is gold having someone so regularly that you can talk to - especially in the isolation you feel in the east without your friends around you.

You do have so many postiives in your life but I completely understand how you are feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders right now. As much as I admire you for always seeing the world with silver linings - I also know that is not sustainable 24/7 - you have the right to feel as you do and I can only sit here with you, listen and provide my total support - why? because you are so worth it and I do love you nd that is exactly what we do for the people we care so deeply for

Thank you @Zoe7 .

Its a moment of self-pity I guess. There is still so much going right, as you have pointed out, and I have a good place to live, even if it doesn’t feel like home and is sorta split between two locations ..... but it is what it is, and could be much worse. Time to get big-girl pants on again and start sorting out this day.

Love ya too @Zoe7 💚🌷

👋💕 @Bunniekins .....

I'll keep checking in on you across the day Hon - just so you know I am here and with you @Faith-and-Hope Time for some pretties me thinks...

Dear @Zoe7 and @Faith-and-Hope

Clearly you are both going through a really difficult time right now. There is little I can say to help, but please know I am thinking of you both, with love gratitude and affection. There are people who come into our lives and truly make an enormous impression, such as @Former-Member has for both of you. I have not been in a position to get to know any of the moderators personally, but of course I have seen Rockpool around a lot since I first came to Sane in September 2016. Its sad she is leaving us, but its a happy occasion because it means she is moving on to something else which is important to her. Rockpool, I am happy for you and wish you good fortune and deserved happiness in whatever you've choosen to do post-Sane. Life moves on for all of us. And @Zoe7 you are fortunate indeed to have had Sane, Rockpool and others here to help you through such a difficult period in your life. In a very real way, Rockpool has passed the batton to you @Zoe7 and you too @Faith-and-Hope , as you both help so many others here now that you find yourselves in a far better place than you used to be. I am thinking of all those who are struggling today, and hope you take comfort knowing that we are all here for each other. Just as Sane, Rockpool and many others, have always been. That hasnt changed, and nor will it.

Sherry 💕

So very well said @Former-Member and I will certainly take it all on board. It is a tough time for those of us who have had so much to do with Rockpool but you are right that we have also learnt from her as well as had some amazing support. She will be sadly missed by those of us who now her a little better. SANE is definitely losing a real gem.