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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hey @MDT hope you’ve had a good day.

Mines very stressful with my daughter having issues with her ex partner.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

She hasn't said anything else to me @Zoe7 so that is alright. She puts a lot of pressure on herself and when something doesn't go the way it is meant to, she gets upset. Am hoping with school starting tomorrow she can get back into a normal routine and that will help a bit.

Afternoon @MDT

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I hope it helps too @Snowie She sounds like her mum - putting so much pressure on herself - hope getting back to school and the routine helps both of you.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7. Really sorry to hear that your Dad hung up on you. I think its likely that he was angry and frustrated FOR you as opposed to AT you. Its unfortunate that he was unable to properly express that to you, and succeeded only in portraying anger. But good on you for dealing so well with it.

The school placement issue, though not yet finalised, does sound promising, with a nearby school. Hoping its your preferred grade 3/4. With you starting work on Monday, they really leave notification of placements to the last moment, dont they.

I heard a news report earlier today on the radio, that the fires in Tassie had worsened. Hope everyone is okay on our Island State.

Hi everyone else here too including @BlueBay @Snowie @MDT @Teej @Sam3

Sherry 💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hehe @Zoe7 she is like me in a lot of ways!

Afternoon @Former-Member , hope your day is going well

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Snowie thats very kind of you, and I appreciate it. To be honest however, the title of @Zoe7 thread here is very apt for me at present. I dont feel that I am coping very well at all. My body is telling me I have run a marathon, and need rest. But my mind wont allow it.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yes the fires seemed to have worsened in the south of the state - I am safe where I am. The smoke haze has dissipated since the rain this morning but it was not enough to help with the fires at all @Former-Member The area is closed ff to everyone - including residents - many towns have been evacuated - some because of the smoke. It really is worse down here than I think the national media has shown.

I will start on Monday if this is all sorted out tomorrow - it does not keave me any time to get the class ready or things organised but it is what it is and I can't change it so have to just do what I can.

No doubt my father is still angry with himself too and while that doesn't help me I hope he realises just how much that hurt me.

Hurricanes play tonight so I am looking forward to that.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Not my thread @Former-Member - is for anyone that is not coping Hon - and if that is how you are feeling then we are here for you. It certainly has been a traumatic couple of days for you so it is no wonder you feel like you have run a marathon

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Sorry to hear that @Former-Member. Its hard when our minds are going in overdrive and there is little we can do about it.

@Zoe7didn't realise the fires were still so bad down there. Not much reporting of it up here at all. Good that the cricket is on again tonight.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yes they really are that bad @Snowie So much of the south west wilderness has been burnt out and so close to many towns. Some houses have been lost and many towns in the area evacuated. There are also fires burning still in the centre of the state and similarly with the SW fires they have burnt out thousands of acres of bushland.

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