Am Not Coping

Sounds good @Zoe7. Weather wise, its been showery this morning, and very muggy. Not a lot of rain, but some dampness is nice. Top of 28C expected for today, though high humidity means it feels hotter than that. Tomorrow and the rest of the week its back up to mid 30's.

Plans for today? Well, as I mentioned, hubby is being really knocked around with these latest additions of meds he's been put on (by psych last Thursday, and neurologist on Saturday). I let him sleep in as long as possible, but finally woke him up at 9am to get him up for some breakfast so he could take his meds (to be had with food). But he's gone straight back to bed again. He keeps saying that life just isnt worth living any more. Hopefully he comes better soon.

Other than that, I have my pilates class this afternoon at 4.30pm. I intend getting to that. I was going to do a load of washing, but may have to wait for the rain to clear before I do that. Although I do have an undercover clothes line if necessary. But with high humidity, it takes ages for anything to dry anyway. So thats on hold for now.

I will go out shortly to check my handiwork from the garden pond work from yesterdays efforts. Check that my one remaining fish is still out there swimming happily and enjoying the clearer and cooler water.

I keep telling myself that I should be trying to get back into some art, but just cant get the motivation to start. Its so much effort to clear a spot where I can actually leave paints etc around and not have to pack it up all the time. I dont have anywhere in which I can just leave it and close the door.

We have a family visit coming up later this week. Hubby's son and his family from just south of the Qld border will be visiting. So I get to see my step son, his lovely wife, and our 4 (step) grandkids. They range in age from 20 down to 6. So that will be nice. Though I am concerned that hubby is worried that he wont feel up to doing anything while they're here. He has not seen his son since he was so terribly sick last year with long stretches in hospital. Though they have spoken on the phone a lot during that time. So that will be a bit hard for him I think. I'm relieved they are not staying in the house with us, firstly because we dont have room for all 6 of them. But also because I think it would be just too tiring for hubby and with no ability to get a break when he needs it. They are staying at a caravan park some half hour away, which has lots of kids activiities to keep the littlies occupied. But they will visit here several days during their stay.

Not much else planned for me though. I enjoyed the cricket last night, my Sydney Sixers won easily against Bris Heat. And I was sorry to see my favouritest tennis player, Roger Federer, bow out. But nice to see it was against a young up and comer Greek fellow, who seems like a decent young fellow. Hoping Ash Barty can turn the tables on her opponent in the quarter finals tomorrow. Same opponent who beat Ash in the Sydney International. Hopefully she's learned how to beat her now. Whatever happens, she's done really well.

Sherry

I went to bed before the end of the tennis or cricket @Former-Member - it was quite evident the Sixers would win at that stage and I think it was one set all in the tennis. The young Greek fellow did an aming job and I hope he keeps going - would be good for the sport to have another young player in the mix. There are a lot of good young players coming through and that is great for tennis - and most of them seem very respectful as well as havng relateable personalities so that adds to the enjoyment.

It is great that your hubby will have his son and family visit and just as good that they aren't staying with you to keep that space you both need. It will be a testing time no doubt but one of enjoyment as well.

Hope your fish is happily swimming about - are you going to get more to keep that one company?

It will be great if you make it to pilates class - we often forget to do those things for ourselves when caring for others so you need that outlet for yourself

I hear you about your art. I have made a space in the loungeroom but will move things into the spare room when I can finally get things into my new school and make space in there. You also need to be in the right headspace to do your art and often that is really difficult - especially with everything else taking over your life. Sometimes we find the time but don't have the motivation either - that is when I do just a little - nothing very creative just putting a little paint on the canvas, stepping back and imagining if I can what will come next. It is tricky though when your heart and mind isn't in it

The Hurricanes play tonight so I will be watching that and Barty plays tomorrow so plenty of sport still on that I will watch.

good night my sister @Zoe7

Hello @Former-Member, @Sam3m, @BlueBay, @MDT ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz xxoxoxox

@Shaz51 @Former-Member @Sam3 @BlueBay @MDT and all passing through...

Been very flat for a few days - think the main reason is that I am not getting as much sleep or broken sleep with the reduction in my night meds. I don't see my pdoc until next week as she is away this week. It seems to take me longer to get to sleep and I am having unwanted dreams again. These are often causing me to wake up and although I get back to sleep quite quickly they are causing me some distress. There is that crossover between what is real and what isn't and I am carrying that into the daytime.

I have been having lots of naps during the day - part of that is being tired and part the lack of motivation or energy to do anything. I am going to force myself outside in a little while when it is cooler to clean up a little in the front yard. Presently the front yard is a dumping ground for things that still need to be sorted and put back into the garage. There are some things that can go straight on the trailer for the tip but others that need to be sorted and put on the shelves in the garage. It is still a really big job but the heat has been stopping me even doing a little at a time..

I did clean out the things I got from school out of the car but haven't sorted them out yet - just another job to add to the list. It has all been a bit overwhelming for me this week - too much happening and too much to think about. I am trying to go with the flow but tiredness is definitely affecting me - MI and lethargy certainly feed off each other.

Very wise words @MDT and also very true. I do have a lot to still get done and maybe the extent of all that is still a bit daunting seeing as I have alresdy done so much. I am going to head outside after I feed my fur babies in about an hour - it should be cooler then and I will have a few hours of daylight left. It is always later in the day that I get a little energy so I need to use that when I can.

How is the Visa stuff going?

I hear you @Zoe7!

The heat is messing with my sleep and then everything gets out of wack.

At the moment I have a mixture of exhaustion and anxiety not very conducive to achieving anything. I am about to write a list with (hopefully) achievable things for this afternoon/evening. Take care.

Thanks @frog - the heat is certainly affecting me getting motivated as well - too hot outside to do anything for too long. I am going to go out soon though as it is a little cooler now. I can get a little cleaning up done and maybe trim a few bushes to get started on the gardening too.

Lists are great - I love lists and being able to cross things off as I go - I have a whiteboard I use and divide it into different areas - it becomes a bit like my coping box - it is right there ready to look at and try to do a little at a time - when I get stuck on what to do next my list is front and centre

I hope you find some energy yourself to get some things done on your list.

Britain's still in the EU @MDT they just can't work out how to leave as they now realise there's no option that makes them better off, and most worse off and they dont even know how much worse off yet anyway 43 here am in and out of bath its too much