Am Not Coping

Good morning @Zoe7 @TAB @Former-Member @Sam3 @Former-Member and anyone else around here today. Hope it's peaceful and productive for all.

Hi @MDT

@Faith-and-Hope @eth @MDT @TAB @Former-Member @Sam3 @Sans911 @Snowie @CheerBear @Teej @Owlunar @Appleblossom @Former-Member and all following along...

Had my psych appointment this morning (nearly forgot I had it). She is very happy with how I am going and how I am coping with things. She said my eyes look alive and she has never seen that the whole time she has known me. She also said she wishes I was sitting where she was to see how well I looked. I did agree that I am doing so much better than I have been for a very long time. It might be that the reduction in meds at night is making me less tired during the day now but that will become more evident over the next couple of days as I do more physical work and see how I feel then also.

We know that going back to work will be a shock to the system but she also thinks I am capable of getting through that initial tiredness and that I will love being back in the job I love. It will take a period of adjusting with everything being new but I think I am up for the challenge.

We also discussed my friend and where that is going - and that I am enjoying his company when we chat and when we did meet - I think she was shocked when I told her about him as that was the last thing she expected from me knowing my history.

I also talked to her about something really difficult and that was being contacted on fb by one of the guys that abused me as a child - I simply denied his friend request and tried to deal with it asa best I could. I didn't tell any of you here about it as I really didn't want to bother anyone and thought I could deal with it myself - which I think I have done quite well. There were several days when the little things were getting to me and I spent all of that day asleep - that was the best way I could deal with it and in it's own way it worked - I could block some of it out while sleeping but there were flashbacks and nightmares for a couple of days. We talked about why he may have done that and I stated that I don't care why but I hope it doesn't happen again - that is all really huge for me and does prove that I am getting on with life and definitely putting some of the past behind me. There will inevitably be times when I can't do that but I feel in a much better place to be able to handle those times.

She also talked about me doing a counselling course and maybe getting into that area further down the track. I have considered going back to uni and re-doing psychology but really want to get back into teaching first and see how that goes - and then when I have a handle on that trying for more study again. If I can find the right balance in my life between work and self-care for me then I may have time to fit in study again. It is definitely something I am interested in and think would be good at so it is worth considering when the time is right.

So much going on for me and so many changes - but more positive in my approach and outlook and that is gold!

Good Morning @eth@Zoe7@MDT@Former-Member@Sam3 @Former-Member and anyone who sees this

You are so right @Zoe7 ... it is GOLD!! All that you just spoke about is sounding so very positive. Life is looking up, looking good, and getting better for you. I feel incredibly happy for you. I know there will be still days ahead which are not so good, but hopefully they are few and far between. You have so much to look forward to now, and you are learning to deal with bad things and feelings as they occur. Its been far from easy I know, but your path to healing and recovery has been steady and true. You know there is better out there and you've reached out to find it. Huge kudo's to you.

Sherry 💜🌺💕

so true re the eyes @Zoe7 especially if they are fixed. Congratulations re your psychs comments

Thank you @Former-Member It certainly has been a long road but to be able to see the positives is massive - and to be able to deal with the negatives is massive also. I do hope it continues along this path and that the positives can greatly outweight the negatives

Thanks @TAB - it really was nice to hear how I am feeling being seen from someone else's perspective as well.

well if youre nything like me, hearing it come from someone else, especially a professional or someone you trust carries a lot more weight than thinking it yourself @Zoe7

Yeah we are our own worst enemies at times @TAB