Am Not Coping

Anybody else feel unmotivated & ‘blah’ most of the time? I used to be lively & engaged years ago with my kids & life etc., but now the future (& the present) really does feel like a chore I’m ashamed to say. Not sure how i got here or how it got this bad, but I literally have pretty much zero initiative & almost no pleasure or hope that things can be different because of the depression & because I’m not willing to put in effort to get better anymore. Sorry to rave but wondered if others have faced similar crossroads in the past or in an ongoing way?

..Pretty much @Sam3 the 'good' moments from last year even seem like a world from here. I made some hard choices last year, like trying to live within my means etc, there was a sense of achievement at the start but missed the oh I'll just put it on the card and tell self pay it off one day. So no more trips. Dont treat self so much, well in way i used to.

Now trying health stuff in face of 'is this ever going to end' feeling of the other day. Now I'm not smoking well had 1 in last 12 hrs ok was asleep for 6 of them lol as opposed to 'eating' packets of them a day. Way more expensive than credit card debt esp since they cost 3 times what they did say 10 years ago now. Anyway. Short Term Inconvenience for Big Long Term gain .. @Sam3

@Sam3 I still feel like that some days despite being a lot better than I was even 6 months ago. It hs gotten better for me but I also just accept those days more now and don't put too much emphasis on doing nothing (as long as I am not heading backwards as well). Sometimes accepting that something just is helps to get through it and get to the next thing or next day. This, like everything, takes practice and I am sure is much harder when you have kids and responsibilities to deal with as well. Going back to work was good for me too - it was something I was aiming for and when it happened it was a real achievement. Maybe start with making short term goals - like a walk twice a week and then work up from there for added motivation.

Thanks @TAB & @Zoe7 I appreciate your responses. Sounds like you’re pretty good at sticking to things for awhile @TAB - well at least for longer than I am at the moment. All the best with the smoking - cost in itself sounds prohibitive (was actually talking about the giving up process with a guy at a party last night - in the end he didn’t worry about nicotine patches & he went cold turkey which took 2 weeks of being like a bear with a sore head apparently!). Thanks @Zoe7 for reminding me about small goals but I think I’m caught up in turning my anger with depression inwards into self-pity at the moment ... yeah need to do something about that, but genuinely don’t want to make the effort & not sure if meds are contributing to the “blah” feeling. Did you have a nice sleep @Zoe7? That’s great you were able to get back to work - had it been a long time?

yes re for a while, have to make changes tho @Sam3 sure you can change things maybe start small like walks or something to give self space to think and remember things you like

@Zoe7 Ditto. 💕💜🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

I was off work for just over 2 years @Sam3 I was extremely physically unwell for some time and that lead to being mentally unwell again and that progressively got worse. It has been a long and difficukt road back both physically and mentally - although both still need a lot of work and recognising that fact is the first step in rectifying it. I am still carrying excess wait that I put on with one of the meds - about halfway to getting that off but for me motivation to exercise is not great. I do go to the pool for hydrotherapy but that also had to stop when I went back to work (and now the pool is not open enough over the new year to attend). I am looking forward to getting back to the pool though later in January.

Wow @Zoe7 you sound phenomenally determined & that inspires me.

I could not have done all I have been doing a year ago @Sam3 That is why I understand so much how hard the lack of motivation is. There are a lot of things I still struggle with but knowing I can achieve some things gives me the confidence to do other things. It can be a vicious cycle when all the negatives in your life tke over and you can't see any of the positives. I am definitely learning to focus more on the positives and work with them to motivate me to do other things. ...and I have had some amazing support from members here along the way and that has been gold!