Am Not Coping

hmm was only 33 here today @MDT but did cook xmas dinner a day early

I think many of us can relate to that @Sam3 @MDT @TAB

Our self-esteem is often rock bottom when depression hits and if it was already low beforehand then seems to make the depression and how we think about ourselves worse.

Thanks @Zoe7 et. al. for feedback that my comment was relatable - helps to know that. So I haven’t found any solutions to low self-worth so far - has anyone else? I have tried affirmations like ‘doing something is better than nothing’ & “I am enough” (BTW kids didn’t like dinner - should’ve left out the 🐣 chick peas!). The cycle is to risk/do the bare minimum and as a result not develop skills & confidence. The company we keep may also be an influence as I compare myself unfavourably. Everyone I know is genuinely more competent than me at most things, except for overthinking & under-doing 🤣 I beat them all at that!

We all have our own individual strengths @Sam3 So often we focus on what we cannot do and no on what we actually can do. Negativity is ingrained in us when we have a slow sense of self-worth. Affirmations only work if we believe them and when our mind is constantly deferring to the negative we often get lost in doubting ourselves and not liking what we see. There is no magic wand to help us but I have found that making a conscious effort to focus on what I can do really does help - but it takes time and practice - lots of practice!

Thanks for feedback that my comment was relatable - helps to know that. So I haven’t found any solutions to low self-worth so far - has anyone else? I have tried affirmations like ‘doing something is better than nothing’ & “I am enough” (BTW kids didn’t like dinner - should’ve left out the 🐣 chick peas!). The cycle is to risk/do the bare minimum and as a result not develop skills & confidence. The company we keep may also be an influence as I compare myself unfavourably. Everyone I know is genuinely more competent than me at most things, except for overthinking & under-doing 🤣 I beat them all at that!

its a progression I think,when the last little bits holding things together wear away A GP used to see decades ago used the filling up petrol tank analogy ..when the petrol gets burned up glossing over things and making self keep going, well in my experience. I was literally told to go and smell the daisys once. It can work, its just hard to get things started. another time I was asked what are things that are bugging me, the little 'list' things, cos they all add up .. I remember saying things like needing a saucepan etc, prob do now as well lol. I hate cleaning and tidy, but I find a positive effect after doing it. If I had somewhere I could picture myself reading I would start that again too @Zoe7@Sam3@MDT

@Sam3 We don't need to compare ourselves with anyone else but ourselves. If we can be the best version of ourselves that we can be then that is enough. We are always learning and growing and it is the ability to incorporate that into who we are that is important. Some days are simply days to just be but others - when we have more energy - are those when we can be more present in the world - both of these times we learn about ourselves and caarry that through into the next moment, the next interaction, the next phase of our lives.

Sounds familiar re others being more competitive and yes re company you keep, but in my case that has distilled down to me. ok not my own best carer lol. and yes re overthinking underdoing as well @Sam3

I think the tank analogy works really well here @TAB - we often run on empty unable to fill that tank but then there are times we can put a few dollars worth in - much like life - the tank can fluctuate between being full and empty - it is when it gets to that critical stage of 'running on fumes' that we need to do something to rectify the situation before it stops altogether.