FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

31,871 - 31,880 of 38,645

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I often put cotton wool in my ears to lessen the noise.

I hope you can sleep ok @Sans911 night 😴

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Good morning @Former-Member @Sans911 @outlander @Shaz51 @oceangirl and all passing through...

It is a beautiful morning here today and the day is suppose to be a cracker - perfect for heading to the Taste of Tasmania and partaking in some local food and drinks. We definitely have some wonderful food down here so looking forward to eating some of it today. I also need to change my bed and get everything washed and hung out - so that is my priority for this morning. Toby is snuggled on the doona on the couch so I will have to move him to wash that cover too. I will also wash his bedding on the floor so plenty to get done this morning.

I painted a little last night and will do some more today with the background then tonight I may start the actual peacock with the oils. Going to take some time to get the background done but I have plenty of time and the process is just as enjoyable.

Hope everyone has some moments of joy in their day - hugs and hugs

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Sounds good @Zoe7. A busy and productive day! Did you make it down to Constitution Dock to see Wild Oats II come in this morning? Maybe later you will get to see some of the other yachts come in. Holly's bath day today, and also sheets and towells change and wash. I should get my paints out too and do some art, something I've not done since about March, sadly. Thanks for the well wishes, and they are reciprocated to you as well.

Sherry

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Former-Member ... hope you managed some decent sleep overnight. Thinking of you.

Sherry 🤗🌸💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I watched the end of the race on tv @Former-Member It was nice for WIld Oats XI to win after last year - happy they won. It will be a wonderful sight seeing all the Maxis lined up along the dock today. Hopefully I get to the Taste and get to see them.

Toby's bath will have to wait until tomorrow or Sunday - need to get the washing done first. I will wash him then wash all the towels afterwards ...I have a 2 towel system to try to dry him as much as I can - he is pretty fluffy so it takes at least 2 towels to soak up all that water lol

As I have said before Hon - tag me anytime - only too happy to provide support or a listening ear (eyes) whenever you need

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Zoe7. You have always been here for me, and I very much appreciate that. Right now .. well, I am really struggling ... but I dont know how to go about talking about it all. Where do I start? Will it help to talk about it all? I dont know. I think as much as anything right now, I just need some human interaction. To know someone is there for me, to listen if I do need to talk. And thats why I appreciate your offer so much. Thank you ...... 🤗🌸💕

Yeah, I was happy to see Wild Oats win too. Last years penalty seemed unfair to me. And they had to pull out of the year befores race due to some equipment failure. So it was great they won again this year.

Ha ha, your Toby sounds like hard work when it comes to bathing. Holly is so easy! I could towell her down with a face washer and she'd be dry within moments.

Hi to everyone else here too @Former-Member @Sans911 @Shaz51 @outlander

Sherry

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hey there @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Former-Member
Hope you are well. Have a good day todau

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Sometimes talking is too hard and we just need that connection like you said to know there is someone there for you @Former-Member I get that there is so much going on for you but despite that you continue to show your resilience and courage. I know it doesn't always feel like that when you are right in the middle of it all but we all see it here and i for one admire that so much about you. I know we have some similar history so also know how hard it is to get through day to day but I don't have th same issues as you do with hubby, your brother and parents - so much love coming your way with everything you are dealing with Hon.

Yes Holly seems much easier to wash and dry - I do love that Toby looks like a little mop but it does take a lot of looking after. He has so many knots around his tail and backside (including his legs) - it is one are he hates being brushed so hoping after a wash it will be a little easier to get those knots out. I will give him a bone to chew on whilst I try to tackle it.

Happy to keep you company this morning Hon

Hi @MDT lovely to see you up and abot this morning also. Anything planned for today?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Sounds like a great day @Zoe7 Enjoy, you deserve some fun times. Remember to rest in between. 💜🦋☕️🌸

Please feel free to tag me too @Former-Member 💜💖😘🌷

I might not feel up to saying much at times. But happy to listen/read and sit with you.

I haven’t had much sleep. I shouldn’t have sugar and had a really sugary pudding yesterday. Silly me. I won’t be eating the rest of it.

Off to doctor later.

Will pop on here when I can. Catch you later.

Hi @MDT 👋☕️ Hoping your day goes well. Any plans?

i might pop back later, or soonish. Not sure. Need to do some things.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I see you too @CheerBear 💖😘

☕️

Hoping your day goes well too. 👋

catch you later.

31,871 - 31,880 of 38,645