Am Not Coping

Although you say you need to keep walking Hon it is by no means an easy path and you deserve so much more It is hard to keep putting on the brave face when inside you are hurting so much but I also know you have the strength to get through this too @Faith-and-Hope - holding your hand here Hon and walking all the way with you. Remember how much you mean to your children and to us here when life seems a little tougher and continue to hold your head high as you have always done. I know it is going to be difficut for you not having the connections here as you have done for so long over these next couple of months but we will still be right by your side in spirit - hold onto that and feel our presence with you. Love you heaps my angel

Thanks @Zoe7. It is going to be tough, but there is no way around that .... it is what it is until we have a diagnosis, and even then, it’s no magical cure, and there will be fury and spin-out as a result, to cope with after that. It ain’t no picnic, but deep inside there is someone beautiful who is lost to himself. Have to wait and see who that becomes when he can get the help and support he needs, and this thing stops owning him.

He decided there was no peak hour traffic on Saturdays, so we only needed 15mins to get into the city, and parked, and walked to the theatre ..... Three quarters of an hour later and missing the start of the movie, and disappointing the married ones who were there on time .... we arrive. It was never going to be anywhere near 15 mins even in the best tragic, and we were diverted by our S1 cos there were road closures for a Christmas pageant that we weren’t aware of, so if we had been caught in that ?? ..... and he can’t see that his thinking has changed this way to non-sensiical choices .....

That is all part of his power/control personality Hon and something that is very hard to live with. I have so much admiration for how you deal with it but also so much sorrow for you that you have to @Faith-and-Hope None of it is ok but you battle on regardless - as much for the man you once knew as for the rest of your family. There is very little I can say that makes any of this any better for you but you have my friendship and love and despite the distance and it being through a screen - that is very real. You help me get through most days by just being you and your family are so lucky to have you around them - you make this world a better place Hon and that is something to hold onto

Happy tears @Zoe7 .....

I received a very warm send-off from my class-mates too. It matters ..... it gives me strength to keep dealing with this when other people believe in me, “see” me .....

❤️

We definitely 'see' you here Hon and are right beside you all the way.

So lovely of your classmates to be able to see you too - I have no doubt they love the person you are - somethings are very obvious by our actions @Faith-and-Hope and yours have always been pure and inspiring to others - keep some of that strength for yourself lso.

You do know I am going to post everyday to you don't you - will be my way of staying connected to you and for you to still be connected to us here too. I'll thought I'd do that on the Far and Away thread so you have one place to connect with each day

Painting delivered to my sister and it looks so much brighter in her house @Faith-and-Hope. She says she likes it which is the most important thing. My loungeroom looks quite bare without it in the corner but that just means I have room to start a new one. I don't have an image in mind to get started straight away but there are plenty that I have saved as ideas. Once I get these next couple of weeks at work over and done with then I will have more time to think about the new painting.

Oh @Zoe7 .... that is so lovely re the Far and Away thread ..... I look forward to that ❣️

Well done you with finishing your painting and delivering it .... look at you go now ..... 💚

I will look forward to seeing your new work, and great that you have that to look forward to when you have finished the term.

I will use the Far and Away thread as a kind of daily journal @Faith-and-Hope then you can read along when you get the chance. Just knowing we are still connected in that way will motivate me to log on Hon. I can post images of what I am doing for you there too and hopefully just adter Christmas is over I can start the butterfly collage too.

Getting some more planning done for Tuesday so I don't have much to finsih off tomorrow when I come home. Will plod along with it tonight but I know what I am doing so there is no rush or drama with me not being able to get my mind working. Tomorrow I am going to do an experiment with them on The Oxygen Cycle and the Tuesday Life Cycles of Animals - 2 relatively easy lessons to plan and content I am familiar with.

😊👍 @Zoe7 ....