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Am Not Coping

Zoe7Senior Contributor26 Jan 2017, 5:39 pm AEDT

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Zoe7Senior Contributor12 Nov 2018, 9:09 pm AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

I think it is always the hope of any parent to wish for a better life for their children @Appleblossom - you have done the best you can under the circumstances and although at times that may not seem enough children also need to find their own way. Just the fact your daughter can laugh is a good thing although the circumstances could be better. Take pride in the good things your kids do because you have had a say in those and hope that the things they do that are less than favourable will fall by the wayside as they continue to grow - that is all that you can do Apple.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Zoe7Senior Contributor12 Nov 2018, 9:21 pm AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

Time for this tired little butterfly to flutter off to bed - thank you everyone for your support today - I hope you all are having a good night. Catch you tomorrow

@Faith-and-Hope I hope you are getting plenty of work done tonight - goodnight my angel

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

AppleblossomSenior Contributor12 Nov 2018, 9:24 pm AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Zoe7

I know deep down they have ethics according to their own lights. They also have many talents and positive traits. I'll let it go for now.

Just reflecting.

Unaware how much I did with so little.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor12 Nov 2018, 9:42 pm AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

Thank you @Zoe7 .... 💚💤💕

❤️ @Appleblossom ..,,,

In response to: Am Not Coping

MDTSenior Contributor12 Nov 2018, 9:51 pm AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Zoe7
I hope so too lol

In response to: Am Not Coping

MDTSenior Contributor12 Nov 2018, 9:52 pm AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

Hey @Appleblossom 🙂

In response to: Am Not Coping

Unknown userMember12 Nov 2018, 9:54 pm AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

Proud of you @Zoe7 🦋💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

oceangirlSenior Contributor12 Nov 2018, 10:42 pm AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi guys,

I'm a bit anxious today.I had conference call this afternoon, I am unsure what to do next. Last semester, I dropped a university unit- which basicaly means one course. When I dropped the course I was granted a withdrawl with no academic penalty. I payed upfront for this unit and I requested a refund and it was not granted. I appealed the decision and again it was not granted. I then applied for it to be reviewed by the tribual and now they want more medical evidence. The other reason is because I continted two units and thats another reason why it was not approved. I have to give evidence including why I could continue the other two and not the one I dropped. One of the units I continued with I was unable to complete the course until last month and I had to defer my placement. The tribual wants me to disclose my medical condition and I know I am within my rights not to disclose it. I have to make another appointment with the GP to get another medical certificate and explain why I was unable to continue with that unit. They basically challenging the Doctor and I am not too happy about it. I am only contuing because its the prinicipal of the matter.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

MDTSenior Contributor12 Nov 2018, 11:10 pm AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

hey @oceangirl nice to hear from you

I had a very similar experience back at uni two years ago. It included explaining why I was fit to take certain subjects and not other ones.

As much as I didn't want to talk about my condition, I knew I had to bite the bullet and tell them upfront about it. The alternative was to fail a unit. Withdrawal always looks better than fail. But at the end of the day, the way the job market works these days - the degree is all they are interested in.

If possible, I'd say tell them your condition. As hard as that might be, try explaining why some subjects could be continued and others can't. When I did that, I simply went into detail about why one subject took a greater amount of effort as opposed to another one. As it turned out, the subject I was trying to get withdrawn was buggered up by the uni admin. Long story.

Basically however, I think that the best thing you can do is keep pushing with it. The refund is probably the most important part. Not to worry about the academic penalty.

So talk about the specifics about the one subject you couldn't or can't complete. Talk about why the other two could be managed. Talk about your condition. Get your doctor's explanation on it too.

My opinion on uni admin systems is largely informed by the bureaucratic nightmare I went through. But I think it's worth pressing forward to get the result. As a result of doing that, I got 2.5K refunded on my HECS.

Let me know how you go. Hope that helps

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

oceangirlSenior Contributor13 Nov 2018, 12:35 am AEDT

Re: Am Not Coping

@MDT

I did get the withdrawl without academic penalty.So I don't know why my request for refund of fees was unsuccessful.

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